I am a fish. That is what I feel like... A fish taken out of its home.. just happily swimming along with all my family and friends.. only thing to worry about is what I am going to eat for dinner... Of course, all is not perfect... the sharks come through, the fisherman casts his pole..... I may get lost for a moment..... or two... but still...I am with the rest of the fish doing as I have always done.
Then one day God pulls me out of the water.
I am thrashing, trying to breathe...flipping and flopping ....and he says to me in his still quiet voice...:
"Stop... hold still....do you not have faith in me...? Do you not know that the thrashing and flipping is only making it harder on you?"
So... Now I see... A fish... taken out of one ocean... a Wonderful ocean with beautiful sunsets and plenty to eat.... An ocean where predators are scarce and for the most part keep their distance.
And even when troubled times arose...they lasted only a moment.
So...here we are.... 5 months into this new life and I still find myself thrashing... I do know that God has his hand on us and will put us in a new body of water....where we will thrive....of course we will have to adapt to new waters.... watch out for different kinds of predators and everything will change.
Hmmmm...You do know I am not one to adapt to change........Don't you? I liked my old ocean! The water there was PERFECT! I have watched it all around me... trials and tribulations..... hard times and wonderful times....friends loving ....friends losing.
Husband struggling.
So...today.....it was a tough one... I first must tell you that I am sorry we have not spoken in so long..I have not forgotten you...Not for a moment...You are always on my mind...in my heart...
As I have stated AA has decided that they like me better full time. That kind of puts a damper on my alone time...
They came and picked up Marks company car today. Boy that was hard...not the fact the car itself is gone...But the reality that he is really now without a job ....That is a hard one.
I feel God with me...I beg him every night for his Peace to fill my heart and he is always there for me...So I DO KNOW that all will be all right in the end.... But I am not a patient person......
As if you didn't know that already... I am kind of into instant gratification......It is the not knowing that kills us both....
Mark flies to Phoenix next week for an interview for a Great Job with a Great company...it is the job he wants with the title he deserves...But it is in Phoenix.
If you know me you know I do enjoy Marks travels when he is gone for a night or so here and there...Pizza night here at the Damato house and Savanna says it is Girl Party time..!(:
But for him to be gone all the time? I don't think this little fishy will be very happy...How will I run the store....the Ice Cream Shoppe?
I should add that our adorable Ice Cream Shoppe will be open in less than two weeks.... It is called Scoop Me, and we are all looking forward to it......Through all this we have been incredibly blessed......I have always been blessed by my Sweet Father in Heaven.... All of this is not monetary though it may seem that way in my speaking....It is just as much having my husband broken down and down and out all summer that has taken its toll on me. Money... comes and goes.... But his poor spirit is so broken...even now ....
Lord Please give me strength now more than ever for the more time that passes the sadder he gets.
I am thrashing around as well.... as I stated....not quite sure what to do... which way to turn....
Next year this time we will be sitting on the porch of our Ice Cream Shoppe looking back at this year and reflecting on all God has taught us throughout...It is the times like these that we start to appreciate.
This new ocean.... hmmmm...... The water may actually turn out to be better...sweeter....the light filtering through the water ........the way the moon hits at night.......
Change is good....Right?
God will put us in our new ocean....I fear we may have to stop thrashing about first.
How hard is it to just surrender.... Well my friend...it is hard.
Fighting for breath in a new place...taken out of your comfort zone all of a sudden.. in an instant.... ....of course you have to thrash at first....it is instinct....we are human after all and have it in us to fight....just as a fish feels as if it thrashes around enough it can escape and get back home.
I have watched friends struggling with things far worse than mine this year. I feel selfish even writing this.....But truly....I feel as if it is a lesson that God is teaching us and maybe through me we can all learn a lesson.... that no matter what.....we must surrender.
Throw our hands in the air.

You know he is there...You feel him.... That warmth in your heart.....that tear in your eye.
That Joy that only he can bring.I have to stop and grab onto those moments. Think of the past..... that gets you to the future.
Some people may say don't look back... of course....you must look back....always......
look at what you have been through... the mountains you have climbed..... the way God has carried you in times you were too weak to walk.I find great strength in remembering these things.
When you see what he has done for you in the past you know he will carry you through these tough times as well..... I know this......I do....but several times a day I still find myself panicking..... What if we have to sell the house...? What if .......too many what ifs to mention.
It doesn't help when you turn on the news and watch foreclosure rates jumping to record levels.... What my fellow countrymen are going through as well...It is all around us....People hurting.
Life is just hard sometimes....! There is no getting around it I suppose.. I know that in Gods eyes it is but a second.... But it sure feels like a long summer to me...!
Pray for my sweet husband that he knocks the socks off in his interview next Thursday in Phoenix.....We will get through whatever we have to for as long as we have to .....Good thing I work for AA.....!(:

On a brighter note... I love my husband...I love my life.... I love my house, my neighbors, my children and the Big Blue Texas Sky....I am in awe of what God has done for me ........Truly.
I have the most Wonderful friends and sisters in Christ......I attend a phenomenal church and get to work in my own cute little boutique every day. I am blessed.... Do you see why I loved my old ocean....? All this and my husband had the perfect job......
Okay okay....I am thrashing..... see? It sneaks up on me.....
Pray for this little fish.... that she is able to see the big picture.....That God put her in the new ocean for reasons only he may know.May we all thrive in our new ocean!
May you thrive as well my friends.... I know you have all been struggling as well....May God give you the Peace and the strength to make it through....May you all overcome and be joyful ..May we all cry out his name in praise...
and may we all stop thrashing.....

Love you all...

Defining moment...Remember how I told you they picked up my husbands car today...?
Well as only he could do...he bought me a new convertible VW completely impractical car but one I have wanted for a very long time...Just goes to show you..... He is one in a million. Thank You Jesus.....Your Grace is amazing...Your love abounding and your lessons.....Hard.

Well My friends..It has been a long time... It has been a crazy Summer... This going back to work full time thing has been quite the adjustment to me...! Honestly I have worked more in the past two months than I hd worked in the past two years... I know... I know... all good things must come to an end...
Hmmmm.... where to start....?
Tyler, Amber and Lexie drove all the way from Fort Wayne Indiana to spend the week with us here ... They arrived first thing this morning after driving ALL night.... So nice to have almost everyone under one roof...
I have been doing alot of thinking lately about life, and how quickly things change. One day you are just living your life worrying about what kind of cereal to buy... and the next the whole rug gets pulled out from under your feet.... What can you do....Really....Stop Living? Curl up in the fetal position and pretend nothing ever happened...Or deal with it... Honestly... we really don't have a choice ....Do we? We must trudge on... No matter what roadblocks are put in our path. When you think about life.... this is the only one we have.... Is it worth dwelling on all the negative things or should we just push forward......Look around ... Bad things are happening all around us...To friends, to family...to complete strangers......cliche cliche... Someone always has it worse than you.
Mark is feeling better now about things... seems to be more positive and that for me, gives me the strength I need to get through this. I know now that he will find a job .... I am just praying that it is the right one for him.
Bring on the Rain as they say.....We are tough...Instead of running in to escape it... I feel we will just let it fall around us... soaking through our clothes and making puddles to splash our feet. Knowing that with the rain.... comes creation... a new beginning... a cleanliness that wasn't there before.....
Let the Rain pound down on us with all its fury..... For the rainbow that follows will be the most beautiful...The most colorful.... The most enjoyed.
My friends... if we never hurt , if we never struggle... we have never lived.
Our Pastor says...Embrace your Trials... Learn from them.
Whew..... I was never one for embracing hardship.... I kind of really hate confrontation. Before I was old and wise enough to understand our Lords grace I was the one who put the blame of my issues on someone else... Of course... there are things that happened to me, to most of us really that probably shouldn't have. But we cannot use that as an excuse for destroying the rest of your life.
Learning to forgive is something I struggle with daily... and I still have a real trust issue... But I have found that when I step out and let someone in... it is a million times better than not.
I have been so blessed in our move to Aledo with the amazing people I have met and who are now a part of my life...You all know who you are... I have to say that my heart is full of love for all of you.
Even though my life is crazy... and yours too.... know I am always thinking of you... Thank you for taking a chance on me... and for allowing me to be a part of your life.
God is at work in my life... and in yours... of this I am sure.

Took everyone to our fave restaurant this eve JOe T's... Everytime we have company.. which has been a lot lately we get to go there... I never tire of it... I think Amber was a little hot... need to get her used to this Texas Heat... But I always love going there... the atmosphere is great...the food amazing...If you have never been there... Please go...!

Finally started construction on our Ice Cream Coffee Shoppe this past week... It is a novel in itself to try to explain the issues of trying to build a food service building... Wow... But it is finally done and underway and I am putting faith in our Lord that it will be successful....

My Lord
Thank you for giving me children that love me
no matter what
Thank you for always being there for me
no matter what
Thank you for showing me the light
no matter what
Thank you for laughter, and tears
no matter what
Thank you for your grace
no matter what
Lord
You will always come first
no matter what.

Defining Moment... Lexi..." I am Nanas Baby"

Well My Friends...Thank you once again for coming to spend some time with me..
I have been praying for all who read this... That somehow, the Holy Spirit will touch your life.
The way that he has touched mine.
That as you look back through the rear-view mirror of your life you will come to realize
That nothing is by chance
All we have been through ,
The Good ,The Bad, and The Ugly as they say
Have brought you to where you are now.
How God has worked through others
to bring us closer to him.
I am humbled every day knowing that every single day of my life he loves me.
No Matter what.
He fills that space in your soul, you know... that emptiness... that feeling of loneliness.... of hopelessness...
I can tell you... from experience that there is only one answer to the Pain you are feeling.

There is something that I am guilty of that I must confess. I have had many friends whose husbands have lost their jobs over the past year. I have not been there for them like I should have. Funny how when something happens to someone other than yourself you have a hard time putting yourself in their shoes.
I am in your shoes now.
Will you please forgive me for not being there for you as I should have?
Really had no idea how devastating losing a job is for a man... Even as a wife who knows that her Husband will find a job worthy of him, I am still reeling from the shock.
Watching your husband worrying every single day is not a fun thing to go through...
As I have stated in the Past... I have tried to invoke my Faith that God will provide into him... but this is his lesson.
Who knows what this will do to our lives...what lessons will be learned..
How you should never never underestimate the importance of a job to a man...
How you should always be there in times of need.

This is one tough Valley we are trudging through...filled with all kinds of thorny bushes and rocky paths. But God is on our side. Of this I am sure. I feel him in my heart . I am sure a year from now... wherever where we may be...(hopefully still right here!) We will look back ..or down ... really... because I plan on keeping on trudging.... over the rocky paths... and up the mountain... Until we can look down and say...Look how far we have come... and feel the Beauty of all that is around us.
Life is Beautiful...Really. The craziness of it, The running all over taking care of kids, animals or whatever it is you do everyday. That, my friend is LIVING! Would you really have it any other way?
Really?
Look at your day today and make a collage in your mind of your favorite moments... Every day has them.
Focus on those... those special times... and Thank God for giving us this Life... For all the Joy, for all the Heartaches... The struggles... The bad times don't compare with the Good... Focus on the Good things...

We have had a couple of leads for Mark.... I am praying that he has a dozen offers and has to choose between them.Or just one job that he feels in his heart is the right one...

We had a Great time in Orlando...It was a nice break for us all and allowed us some time away ... It did wonders for Mark.... as I knew it would...
Laughter... The best medicine.
Well friends.. it is late... and I am tired...
Please continue to pray for Mark, as he makes his way through this time.

Defining Moment:The day you accept Gods Grace... without feeling you don't deserve it.

Love you all! Night Night...

Come sit with me... Tell me your story... I know you have one.... We ALL have a story to tell... Tell me of your trials and triumphs, your heartaches, your joys!
I wish I could sit with you all.... hear your stories.. How God has changed your life... How when you finally just gave up and handed it over what amazing things started happening in your lives! I want to hear them all! I want to share in your glorious transformations! Your stories give me hope, strength, inspiration!
Is it not amazing how God loves us!
Oh Friends... My poor husband is still struggling! How I hate to see him broken like this! How can I stay strong? I am praying and praying and trying so hard ! What more shall I do? I fear he will lose his mind if he does not have a job offer soon... and it has only been a week. He spends hours every day, (And night!) searching, calling everyone he knows ....I try not to get caught up in his worry but I am HUMAN!
Please God! Send him some Peace of mind and Heart!
I am comforted by our Lord, I am sure that all will be okay in the end.. But I cannot portray this to him.
I fear that this is between He and God and that I cannot push this upon him any more... That it is a Peace he must come to on his own as he struggles through....
I have to break in this for a moment and laugh... my two teenage daughters, Carli (17) and Sydnee (15) are doing P90X behind me in Sydnees room for the first time... Carli,( the cheerleader..). coaching poor Sydnee ( the writer...) It is quite entertaining... Lets see if they make it through!
I,myself,am taking a break from the lo carb diet in favor of the stress diet( not really by choice!)My mind and my Body seem to be on different playing fields... although in my mind I am calm my body sometimes is a churning mass of nerves! If I find myself with any idle time at all... I start over-thinking... I guess God put me back to work full time just in time... Funny how things work out that way... I don't really have time to worry between working, running the store and trying to keep these kiddos entertained.
We are all taking a short trip to Mall of America this week.. just a short overnight-er... but as I have stated in the past... I prefer the overnight trips... too many days away from home does me no good!
So we will take a little breather...have some fun away from home and hopefully get Mark some stress relief! (my ultimate goal!!! Have him forget for a minute!)
I love my life. I love where I am right now.. and I know it is only going to get better.. I have faith.. Whatever lessons we need to learn,we will learn...As long as we have faith and keep our focus on God... He will never let us down...That is awesome... I am so happy to be able to share with you... and I hope you can share with me... I want to hear... I want to know what Jesus has placed in your heart...
As we walk through life, looking around us, and maybe maybe just wanting to feel sorry for ourselves... take a deeper look... look at the homeless man on the corner... look at your neighbor who is hurting... think of the struggles of those all around us... I can tell you, as I have before,, we all have them.... all of us...... Someone may be going through something you never even will know about.. and those kind of struggles... those kind of things where someone feels as if they can't share their burden... those are the ones we need to become more sensitive too...
I promise...as you help others... take the focus off yourself... and put that energy into someone else... you will feel a different kind of satisfaction. Of Happiness....
But first... you must fill yourself up with Jesus... For without him... you are of no good to anyone.

Thank you friends.. for once again sharing this time with me... It has been nice talking to you once again...Thank you for sharing some of MY burden... for listening to me ... for taking the time to care...

Defining Moment.....having your kids help out with everything that needs to be done... with love in their hearts..and thankfulness on their lips...... Is there anything more you could possibly ask for?
Jesus...Thank you for changing MY LIFE!

There you go changing my plans again
There you go shifting my sands again
For reasons I don't understand again
Lately I don't have a clue

Just when I start liking what I see
There you go changing my scenery
I never know where you are taking me
But I'm trying just to follow you

Wow... What a week I have had... WE have had... It has been a rough week.. But you know what.. We survived and will continue to LIVE, and to LOVE in spite of the heartache, in spite of the attacks, in spite of all that life may throw in our way...

It is as we feared... Marks Program with Hills has been cut.,.. which means his job will be eliminated.
The Vice President(of his Company) flew in on Tuesday personally to deliver the news to Mark. They have great respect for Mark...(of course.. he IS the best we all know!) The news is bad but at least Mark knows how much they respected him and loved him for all he did. They were forced to lay he and Dennis off(poor Dennis...) ! But as bad as it is... and it is really bad, they are keeping him on for three months, will pay him three more after that, keep us insured for over a year, paying him his bonus, vesting his pension and they also hired a Professional Recruiter to find him a new job.
I am so proud of my husband. He shows such grace and such strength in times such as these. He is my rock... He is OUR rock.
So... our lives will be changing... But I can not fret .. I have faith that our God has his hand in this and that Mark is meant for bigger and better things.... Honestly he is the most brilliant person I have ever met, other than my Grandfather...(they are the same level of brilliance!!)I KNOW he will be placed in a job , a job that was meant for him to flourish and use his talents.
We do need prayers.. It is very hard to see him broken like this... I know he is trying to be strong for us and he is so worried about letting us all down... He could never let us down... no matter what... not possible... !
It is so sweet as he cradles me in his arms and tells me I don't need to worry ... That he will always take care of us... that he will do whatever he needs to in order to do so... I LOVE HIM!!!!!I cherish him.... Thank you GOD for sending him to me!
Do you know how nice it is to be able to count on someone... ? To know that if he says something he means it... I could go on and on... I am sure I will...
I will keep you all updated...Pray for his peace of heart...

I have been working ...and working...and working... I had to work out of the office today... for the first time in over a year... I got to see my friend Beth... I didn't realize how much I miss her! She is my little Hawaii girl...she travels there a couple (or more) times a year... She brought me much comfort today by just being there and listening to me...Thank you Beth... I am so glad that we are friends... that we have each other... even if we don't see each other much...!
I have found as I grow closer and closer to God that my heart softens towards the loved ones in my life... I feel as if I need to tell them all how much they mean to me... what a difference they have made in my life... I have been so blessed with the relationships that God has sent me...

Liz,oh..I need to tell you about Liz.... The strongest woman I know... I don't even know if I have words to express how she has changed me... I just realized it... TODAY!
Her and Kevin have been struggling with their seven year old son Joe, having Cancer. The heartbreak, the constant trips to the hospital for treatment, the not knowing.... every day... Yet she has time to be there for ME! Liz... I love you... Your example of staying strong in times of need, your faith, your love of God.... all have taught me by example...Instead of worrying and fretting I am having faith... Instead of feeling sorrow.. I am finding Peace... knowing God has a plan. You are so special... I hope you know this.. I know how you have suffered in the past... I am so sorry... so so sorry... You are in my thoughts daily, my prayers constantly... You have shown me that you can heal ... that you can go on living....and LOVING!!!!!
I need to tell you about all of them... Ginger, Jennifer, Jenn,Julie, just to name a few... the ones that really have made a DIFFERENCE in my life...
and of course.. Rochelle... thank you Liz..... and Carla...
I want to share them all with you.. Tell you and them how much I love them... People that take time out of their lives when they are hurting and down, and struggling.... to take time to lift you up...REALLY take time... Who stop what they are doing to help you.
God has a plan for our family... I know that... I know I should never grow content... for if I shall I shall need to be shaken by his mighty hand lest I forget who is really in charge...
Well Guys... I am really tired... and it is my BABY GIRLS SIXTH BIRTHDAY TOMORROW:
Her lists of demands are that of a true Princess and of course we must fill every one..
Hide her presents... at least ten... in the kitchen and living room only
Take her to Bearcat Park... then Sonic to Ice Cream...
Childrens Museum on Friday.. then the Omni and Olive Garden,
and MARBLE CAKE with a green candle on top...
Oh... that child is something else... Through all of this she is bringing joy to our hearts...
I love my kids... they are awesome...!
They are all doing all they can to help us get through this difficult time..
Thank ALL of you for your prayers...Please add Dennis Nixon to your prayer lists as well...He is a very good friend of ours...(Our SANTA!) He will need strength as well...
They have helped....
God is GOOD...
Goodnight! (:

Lord:
You are all I need.... take all that's in me... I give it to you.. For your Glory...
My flesh may fail me
My heart may fail me
Everything I have may fail me
My only hope is waiting at your feet..

I have been singing this song all day today... Yesterday ...today... very stressful days here in the Damato household...
Life changes in an instant... I am sure there are several of you out there that can agree.. How you can just be living your life... then a minute later everything changes.
I am telling you all this against my husbands wishes... But I feel I need to ... for we need the prayer... (s)!!!!
I wish I could tell you the specifics but quite frankly we don't have any yet...
All we know is that there will be some major changes happening around here starting probably next week... Something is going to happen with Marks job...There is alot of realignment going on in his company, and he will be affected...That is all we know...
If he loses his job...Well that is something I really can't think about right now... I have faith that he will be put into a new position.... That God will provide. He has always taken care of me. Always... I am just so scared right now... I really don't know what to think... or what we will do... I know there are so many who have gone through this in the past year... I have several friends in fact who are still suffering the after effects of our bad economy.Please God... give us the strength to get through whatever it is you have in store for us... If it means Mark has to travel back and forth to Kansas... we will do it... Please put your hands over our family and protect us! It could be a number of things, and as I stated no matter what, things have to change... Mark loves working from home....and I fear that is going to change.
But his having to commute over not having a job...We will take the commuting part!
Please pray for him... his heart and his pride are broken.... Although it is no fault of his...He is the best at what he does....always... so that is why I am keeping faith that they will keep him and just reassign him to new duties...
If you would have asked me a few days ago if I was okay with him traveling back and forth and only being home on weekends I would have emphatically responded "NO!" But... as I stated in the beginning... life throws these curveballs at us when we least expect them... It is our job to keep our faith strong... Just believing that as a family, with God on our side we can get through anything... I feel strong right now.. Ask me in a couple of hours as I am tossing and turning unable to sleep....
I really want Mark to have faith... to have Peace in his heart no matter what happens. It is hard for him, as the provider... especially as he is such a Perfectionist!
It is going to be a tough weekend, Did I say that already?? The NOT knowing is the worst... of course coupled with the fact that jobs at his level aren't really a dime a dozen... ...
See... Here I go... losing my strength and resolve to stay strong... Help me!!
They say that when you start bringing people to God get ready for the attacks.... I don't know if I am strong enough for any attacks right now!
There are so many suffering, Good people... I feel guilty even saying these things... I am just so very worried about my sweet husband... I don't think he has eaten for two days... So.. again... I ask you to lift him up in prayers...(Mark)... to help him find peace and give him strength... If he ends up having to commute back and fort to Kansas that he finds it bearable... That Jesus will reside in his heart to keep him company...
I will let you all know what happens... As you know.. I am back to work full time with American... so it may be a couple of days...


Defining Moment... realizing that what you have, can swiftly be taken away.
I am giving it to God... He is almighty and does not make mistakes.

There is no passion to be found playing small - in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.
Nelson Mandela

It is late... and here I am... once again...! Another interesting day with American... It seems as if Obama decided to take a trip to Chicago thereby shutting down the airport for a number of hours on one of the busiest travel days of the year... Interesting...It is funny to me how people react to things they have no control over... Very Very few are just "okay " with it..Most are angry, frustrated,and all those emotions that go along with losing control of our situation.
I have learned to just sit back and let them vent for the most part... I have learned it does no good to tell them that it is beyond my control... That the snow is not my fault, the mechanical prolems not my doing..I now just sit quietly as they rant and rave...not saying a word until they finally say" Are you there"? At which point I quietly tell them I am here to help them if they indeed need my help..But if they want to continue to complain and yell then I will have to release the call so that I can help others...
This tactic of mine is fairly new.. It is hard not to take it personally when people are yelling , screaming, name calling etc...I use to actually break out in hives on my arms I was so upset by these people..
Now,although some of them can still get under my skin, I have an easier time not taking it personally and putting myself in their shoes...
The other day I was talking of this with one of the Supervisors... How I could not understand how some people no matter how hard you try to explain things they just did not get it.....How you could tell them something five times at least and they still are angry at not understanding...He, The Supervisor then told me I was judgmental...
"Judgmental !?" I said How is it being judgmental when I am explaining this time and time again and they are not UNDERSTANDING ME? He quietly told me that some people really just don't get it...That they don't understand things like we do ...and for me to get frustrated with them was being judgmental...
Wow...what a slap to the face that was to me... But he was so right!
So... that is my goal...add that to my list of daily sins... I am judgmental... I don't want to be!
Lord help me!!!
My friend Beth that works with me tells me I am mean on the phone... She laughs at me, and I at her.. for I like to get my conversations done , and stay at business at hand for the most part and she knows all the kids names and birthdays when she gets off the phone...(sorry Beth if you are reading this... but you know it is true..!) Ilove Beth... she is awesome... Don't get to see her much at all since we both work from home, and we don't have to go into the office often.. But I enjoy sitting next to her when we are there... She has such a calming spirit about her.(she is LDS...funny out of all the people there we gravitated to each other!)
I never thought of myself as judgmental...before...But he ...some stranger for the most part...(I only have talked to him on the phone a handful of times in the almost four years I have been at home) was quick to point it out in a hurry....!
But as I thought about it... it has become clear to me...I am not judgmental in the way that I think a person should look or dress a certain way but I am, I suppose, because I think people should react to things the way that I would...
I need alot of prayer...! Please God...go to work inside me and open me up to understand all that I cannot...!!!!!
I wonder... Do we ever get it right...? Life, I mean... Is there ever a day when you don't look back at a moment you wish you could change... a word you wish you could take back...
an opportunity missed...We really do need to realize that we,as Christs followers are setting the stage... that others look to us, that call ourselves Christians...that we have a GREAT big role to fill...It is scary to me to think that the example that I set will be the wrong one.
So...my goal at work now is to treat people that don't understand me, how a NASA scientist would treat me if I didn't understand how a rocket booster operates...I am sure it would be completely foreign to me...
Sorry all you people I have talked to in my bordering on mean voice when you didn't understand me..I truly am.. It is my issue...not yours...I feel horrible!

I have had several people , in my life,ask me how I have overcome so much , and just seem to be at peace with it all..I have to tell you...it has not been easy...as I have told you before.....But, you see... the sorrow in my life I have overcome is the same sorrow that has brought me into my relationship with my one and only Father.. Jesus Christ... the savior of us all...Isn't that amazing? That the bad things actually led me to the most Wonderful...That, my friend is how it works...!It is awesome! The peace I feel in my soul is truly something I wish I could explain in words... But I am afraid I cannot... it is something you must experience yourself. My special time with God, my alone time with him ...those times when I feel him with me, encouraging me when I am down or sharing my Joy at special moments....He wants us to be joyous... If we only knew what he had in store for all of our lives.....
When I was young, an early teen..I was so unhappy... miserable.. I hated my homelife.. I use to run away every chance I got.. The only place I ever felt safe was with my Grandparents... I would just run as fast and hard as I could..wanting to run from the pain.
I remember those times of helplessness...those times of being so alone...
My friend... I have been through it all.. I know what it is to lose faith in your family. I know what it is to be single Mommie trying to make ends meet... I know how it feels to have your heart aching.. knowing that there has to be something more......
I have been there... If you are reading this and feel as if you have no purpose in life, no direction...like you are not good enough.... Please pray ...right now for Jesus to give you direction...Your life will change...I promise...
God is GOOD!!!!!! Life is oh so GOOD! Life is for living!
I was talking to a 92 year old very special lady this eve as she was planning her yearly vacation dates... She is sharper than I... When she volunteered her age as we were talking about dates of travel I think I choked...She is a very special spirit...I asked her how she did it,how she kept her mind sharp and her attitude bright.
She told me two things...
Be Thankful for every day.Live life with a positive attitude... the negative will kill you.
Truer words could not be said..
If we live every day feeling sorry for ourselves, if we allow the ugliness of the world to seep into our lives, we will feel the effects physically, and mentally....it will bring us down.
Of course we all have our good and bad days... But let us all strive to live to be 92 and still traveling the world with a smile on our faces blessing all around us...!
Can we just take the bad,knowing it is for the better good? I know it is hard, especially in the middle of it.. but there is alight at the end of the tunnel... it is our choice...! we can let it bring us down, but what good does that do...really? There is alot we have no control over... ALOT!!! MOST things! But we can control how we react to those situations... And that is what will change your life...
I am going to change the way i\I react to those people on the phone that dont GET IT! I think of God and how probably thinks the same of us everyday... How many times do I have to tell them? Will they never understand? They just DONT GET IT!! But he , in his infinite wisdom does not judge us.
Everyday is a struggle of some sort.. some have it worse than others... but we all have our struggles...believe me... That is God working in our lives.. Can we make him proud?

Defining Moment...Having your kids pitch in to take care of little ones, cook dinner AND clean up because Mommie is back to work...all without being asked... My heart is full.

Okay.. So my first day back at work wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.. I met some really interesting people.. The gentleman who helped create Twitter being one of them... I asked him how to pronounce his name so that I made sure I pronounced it right .. It was very complicated .. three very long names and I couldn't even begin to say any of them correctly...... and he says.......
"Kevin."
It was HILARIOUS!!!!..he told me about the new app he is creating for the iphone.. I will post more on that later... I was suppose to work until 9 but got off at 6 ...phones were slow.. so we were all VERY happy.. We have a Wonderful child staying with us... She is actually Bonners cousin ...Her name is Allegra and she is so sweet.. We met her at dinner the other eve when Bonners Parents were here..Found out they actually live in Tanglewood.. So she wanted to come and spend the weekend with us.. She is a character.. She has been bugging the boys all day ...She fits right in.. I love her to death... I have a feeling she will be spending alot of time in the Damato household.. and you know me... the more the merrier...
My sweet son Jordan brought me home a surprise last night.. a smoker! He slaved away smoking his first brisket today while I was working... it was AWESOME!!!!That boy can cook! He and Tyler my oldest are both chefs... I love it..When Tyler comes to visit they both spend all day in the kitchen cooking up the yummiest creations... I too love to cook... Well more bake really... I love cookies and brownies and all those things I cant have right now... Still five more pounds!!!!
Spent alot of time creating the past couple of days.. I am going to post some pics... I needed a floral arrangement so I made it.. My first one.. So Proud! We have also been busy making jewelry...
Sydnee made her first necklace this evening and I taught sweet Allegra how to make Tutus ...She is in the kitchen now attempting her first necklace... I love when these girls make something and are so proud.. It makes me happy!!!!


The sky is so clear, the starts so bright..
As I sit on the outside
looking in
All is right with the World
My Baby Girl climbing into Bed
Arms reaching out one more time
For one more hug from Daddy
The breeze is blowing, it is perfect.
Kids gathering up suits to go out for the night
to a block party they go
I laugh as I remember those days
of my youth.
Lights flashing in the dark
from the Video game upstairs..
But all is quiet out here.
Two girls painting toenails
Tying Tutus, beading necklaces
I watch it all through the Windows.
Stealing this moment of quiet
I quickly pray
God Thank you
My house is full of love and laughter
A place where all are Welcome.
and safe.
Where little girls dance and sing
and puppies beg for food
My place of bliss
My Heaven on Earth.
If I don't tell you enough
My Lord
My savior
I love you. I believe in you.
I thank you and I will praise you.
Today, Tomorrow and for the rest of my life.



Defining Moment..The moment you realize that no matter how tired you become, raising our Children is a privilege..not a chore.

Good Evening !! This is my last eve of freedom! Tomorrow is the day I have to start working full time again for American....Oh... it has been nice... The time off... You see they allow us to take Voluntary time off in advance if they predict the phone volume will be down... One of the perks of working for American Airlines...I detest my job and love it at the same time... I love talking to people on the phone, hearing their stories and having the ability, most of the time, to help them out.. But I detest the ugliness that oozes out of others..!. I often wonder what gives people the right to be rude to others ..?..I have to admit, although I was never downright rude, I did not give the people in Customer Service, when calling the respect they deserve... It is a tough job... Especially for us in the Airline business... I answer phone calls for Elite Members, people calling who want to use their miles to travel...(whole other story..) People whose baggage didn't arrive on the same airplane that they did...(Least favorite... every one is angry!)...I also answer overflow for just the regular joe wanting to know if he can bring his guitar on board, how much it costs to bring his pet.. or if he is allowed to check his blowtorch ...Seriously...No...you cannot bring your blowtorch.. Or your lighter fluid, or any other flammable liquid...!
People are funny...I could write a book just about the phone calls I get on any given night.. I will add a few after work tomorrow..... It can be your daily entertainment....
Luckily for me, the kids will be out of school so will be able to help out at the store...I am grateful for my job and the opportunities that it provides my family and I.. We would never be able to fly to California to watch American Idol or take that quick trip to Disney World because Savanna just wants to go...Oh her future husband is in all kinds of trouble... She thinks it is normal to just jump on an airplane and go to Disney...!
Do you remember as a child dreaming of what life would be when you grew up..? Is the life you lead what you dreamed? Most of my young adult life was spent feeling sorry for myself and I wasted so much time... !We all have plenty of things that have happened to us believe me... Zachary gets so upset sometimes when kids stare at him or make a remark... I have to remind him that his disability is on the outside ... and sometimes that kind is the easiest to bear... He really does understand this as he gets older. He tells me stories of how kids in his school are having all kinds of trouble at home, or have recently lost a parent, etc.. He has become really sensitive to things going on around him... Last week a little boy that is six passed away due to a heart condition he was been born with.
.Zachary woke up in the middle of the night and tapped me on the shoulder..."Mommie, he whispered... I can't sleep.. I am too worried I will never see my friend in Heaven.. What if I do something in my life that prevents me from going there?"
He just turned ten....What if we do something in our life that prevents us from going there.. Prevents us from seeing our loved ones.. Prevents us from spending ETERNITY in Gods Presence... In PARADISE!
I assured him that Jesus was the way to Heaven and as long as he believed in Jesus and followed in his footsteps he would meet all his loved ones in Heaven... "What if I am mean to someone?' Then you repent and don't be mean to them again....We stayed up for about an hour running through all kinds of scenarios that in a child's mind I guess would prevent them from going to Heaven.
Children have such insight into things... Their minds aren't cluttered with all the things that we as adults have to plunder through each day...Most things are black and white with them... then as we become older everything becomes a shade of gray.(or grey)..(.that is for you Anna.).... the right and the wrong kind of blending in the middle so it is kind of right, and kind of wrong...We make excuses for everything... Boy our kids pick up on that quick too... How to make excuses for things.. .It is funny how we say our kids are naughty.. While we are born in sin... the naughtiness is something learned...usually from us..!
Oh how I wish I could start over with Parenting.. Now that I am middle aged I think I finally get it.. (well kind of...) but most assuredly better than I did when I was young.. These children need so much guidance.. and discipline.. ! Although I am sort of an enabler.. I am able to hold strong to the values that I want instilled in them... Rules too....Lots of rules...
When we are young we have these grandiose dreams of our future selves... I just remember saying "When I have kids I will never let them .....""They will all have......""I will marry Prince Charming and live in a castle.."
I woke up one day to a harsh sense of reality.. Actually it was God giving me a stern talking too... Telling me in a still small voice that it was time to stop feeling sorry for myself... to take the things of the Past and let them go.. The People that had hurt me, let that go too.. Why was I wasting MY life carrying around THEIR burdens? God has never said to Forget about it.. Just to stop carrying it around with you.
I gave it all to him... all of it.. all of the crazy mixed up feelings I had for certain family members... all of the resentment I had for never having a stable home life... ...etc... etc...(If I tell you everything YOU would be the one in the fetal position!) !! It is true that our circumstances can shape our future if we LET it... It is so easy to feel like we were entitled to that Perfect childhood.. or whatever it was we feel we were missing...But.. at some point it is up to us to get down on our knees and cry out to God to take it all ..... ALL of it! Stop drowning in your pities and start dreaming of your life again... Start thinking what it is you want.. for you... for your children... then start DOING it...When you let go of those bad feelings...(it takes a while...!)and pray pray pray every day for Peace in your heart.. When you ask for direction... and then LISTEN to God... Your life will CHANGE!!!!!
I have my Prince Charming..
All I have ever wanted to do for my Children I can...
I live in my Castle...(it is a castle to me..!)
I have prayed and worked really hard to get to where I am in life right now.. I did not do it alone.. God gave me a path to follow and it was a hard path ... I had to humble myself.. I had to realize that in order to be blessed you have to be a Blessing...(Thanks Ed Young !)You really have to stop being selfish and self serving.. and put the needs of others first.. Truly.And you have to realize that whatever you are Given by God you do DESERVE it.. no matter what others say and especially no matter what the Devil says.. For he never ever EVER stops trying to convince you otherwise...
Go back to your childhood list.. what on that list can you achieve? What if we do something in our lives that prevents us from going to Heaven?( Thank you Zachary... )This life is only to fulfill one purpose really.. to serve God.. to try to be like him and to have a relationship with him that we can continue in our everlasting life after our earthly death.. What if we wasted our whole purpose?(In this process you will find your dreams and goals coming true...... If you take his direction..!)..
Our salvation lies in Christ.. Please Please Please take him into your lives and into your hearts..Start living your dream.
Defining Moment.. After spending half of your life thinking you were NOONE finally realizing you are SOMEONE.
Thank you Jesus..

Hello again.. ..Sorry I missed you yesterday.. It was one of those rare occasions where we decided to throw all caution to the Wind and go see a movie on a school night! We took Savanna to see Shrek .. it was awesome...I love Mike Myers... (Shrek) If you ever want to watch a really funny move rent So I Married An Axe Murderer... one of my favorite movies... It may have been his first... I don't know but I have watched it about nine million and one half times and have every line in it memorized and still laugh every time...But.. you have to be a Mike Myers fan...
I have to share a secret with you.. I am kind of scared right now... When I started writing this blog in my mind it was just going to be about our crazy life.. inside our crazy house with our Welcome to the Zoo sign on the front door...How we get through every day with all the kids and the animals... How we plan our schedules to make sure everyone is where they are supposed to be.... and now with the store keeping that manned at all times, etc etc...
How I fit in time to make candles, and now jewelry for the store...My favorite recipes, the best restaurants in town... (for we do love to eat out...) ...(just got back from Joe Ts!)
But the words just started spilling out of me, and before I knew it I was telling you all my life story... Which is fine... there is alot to tell... But I never ever meant for it to be what is has seemed to turn into...
I have gotten so many messages from people telling me that my stories have inspired them into maybe giving their lives back to God... who have gotten off track...
I am scared...and humbled... I am just a person who has made a ton of mistakes... has taken the wrong path alot of times and just happened to realize one day that Jesus is the only way.
Thank you for taking time out of your precious day to meet with me, here...to listen to me tell you my story.. If it helps you .. then it is God talking to you.. not me...That little voice inside you is the Holy Spirit giving you the conviction that you need to get you back on track.....I will share with you some more of how God through Jesus can fix anything.
Why did Eve have to go and eat that apple...seriously... would not our lives be so much easier if there were no sin...? Oh.. sin HURTS!!! Sure it may feel good in the moment.. but the kickbacks? Oh I can tell you they are not worth it! We can never shed our human nature.. I love it when people tell me , usually people who are far away from God.. that"that is not very Christianlike"...Well I can tell you right now that as long as I am HUMAN and on this earth... I will never be PERFECT! I finally came to the realization many years ago that being happy with yourself through Jesus is being at peace with the world.
If someone wants to judge you... so be it... if someone chooses not to like you ... so be it...Honestly it is usually someone who cant look at themselves in the mirror due to their own sins, that is causing them to judge you...Making everyone you know happy is impossible.....
Be true to yourself... Pray that Jesus can give you the compassion you need to get through each day... stay away from sin... or try to.. a harsh word with a child...maybe a word spoken out the window in a moment of road rage...(who.. me?) a struggle with your husband over who is the boss....(it is very hard for me.. I struggle with this daily)..Mark and I are always struggling over authority... I think I am right.. but think is the key word.. for I am usually NEVER right.. and even if I am.. I need to be in his service ... It is so hard !!!!!That is my daily sin... oh how I pray !!! But then my human flesh takes over and here we go again...It is a good thing that I can admit that I am wrong in the end or there would really be trouble...!He is the smartest man I know.. I am completely right brained... he is completely left brained so we make a good team... Our closet... I should take a picture and post it... His side is perfectly arranged by color and sleevelength...My side..Well....my side stretches out into the middle of the closet onto the stepstool which is covered in clothes so I can't even reach the clothes on the top rack... Who knows what is even up there? ...stretches all the way into my laundry room which is also used as my closet.. No my clothes are NOT sorted by sleeve length.. or color..! Oh he gets mad at me...When are you going to clean the closet... straighten out the kitchen drawers..What...?? You mean its not normal to have five junk drawers? People actually USE those things that you sort out the silverware in inside the drawers?
Oh just ask my friend Ginger if you ever meet her.. She will tell you some stories... we use to work together... I would be out on sales calls and would call her back at the office to find me a quote or something... "where is it?" she would say...(of course her pantry is organized in alphabetical order...!)On my desk I would reply to her horror! Although she loved it when I was not in the office...she would spend all her time trying to clean up my desk to get things filed... I love her so much... even now she tries to teach me and always threatens she is going to do it (the organizing)when she comes to visit.. but she knows better...
anyway... where was I?
All I am saying to you.. is this... We are not perfect... Not one person walking on this earth is.. and you know what? God loves us all the same...We all sin every day. No getting around it.Just try not to make the same mistakes.. Dont judge others like you are judged or you are just like them.As I was talking to God one night..I asked him... what is Heaven like....I love just talking to God.. I talk to him every night.. For as you know.. he is my Father... He told me so...
When I asked him that question there was a rush of euphoria that passed through me.. I can't explain it...it was like your best moment in life times 100 million...It only lasted a moment and was gone.. But I get it.. I GET IT! I want to go there!
I want to be in a place where all my earthly worries are gone.....Where every day is the most Wonderful Day you have ever had...
Dont waste your life.
Dont let others take you down... Sometimes the people you love the most are the ones you have to break free from.....
The thing that helps me the most is just knowing that I am loved by God... even if no one else on this earth loved me... I am loved by him.
Defining Moment...realizing that you can do more than you ever thought you could.
Love to all... Good night!

I love how every time I tell someone I am from Utah (without fail!) they say to me.. so Are you Mormon? I know all my Utah people feel the pain! How everyone looks at you like you are from a third world country until they hear your answer... Then the questions begin..
Well to answer your question... the only people that call them Mormons are people who aren't Mormon! In Utah we call ourselves Latter Day Saints or LDS for short.. So... if someone asks me if I am Mormon I know they aren't one... If they ask me if I am Latter Day Saint... then I know I am speaking with one or someone who is familiar with the religion... Funny how people are so fascinated by it... I never understood it... still don't... I am not a Practicing "Mormon" ... I guess I am still one just because I haven't had my name taken out of the Books ... yes... the keep track of you....They always seem to find you.. no matter where you go one day someone from the Relief Society will come knocking on your door....
My whole family is LDS..I grew up going to church with my Grandmother and even as a young wife continued to go...The church is not filled with monsters and men with twelve wives...It is funny the impression that others have of the people in Salt Lake City... although I have often said that if you aren't LDS... you won't fit in... I am sure alot has changed since I lived there... I left in 1996...But I am sure alot is still the same...Although I grew up in the religion, and my whole family is very religious... I never really felt the connection there... I remember asking a couple of family members if while bearing their testimony they really felt it or were just saying some automated response... Because to me it all sounded the same... Month after month ... Every first Sunday you would fast before church and then bear your testimony... But everyone said the same thing.... I didn't get it... I tried really hard to.. believe me.. !
Oh my whole family is convinced I am going to hell I am sure... thinking that those Christians bite off snakes heads and drink poison and talk in different tongues...
Well I should not say that ... My Grandparents actually visited church with me when they came here to Texas and enjoyed it... My Grandma commented that it wasn't really church... but she went along anyway and despite herself I am sure she learned something... That is the Wonderful thing about them both... They love me no matter what... Even If I do attend a church that sings rock music and the Pastor wears Levis...
I do not discuss religion with any of them when I see them.. It is a topic I will not even try to bring up.. There is already too much friction and they will know the truth in the end... I send my grandma messages on DVD from Ed Young Jr... I don't know if she ever watches them or not, but that is not my job... I just want her to hear the message that I hear.... That is all....
Growing up Mormon in Utah is what every other child does.. There really is no separation between school and state there..... It is all intertwined and if you are an outsider and don't go to Church you will find that your children are ostracized by others... This is not done in a malicious manner... but in the same manner that if you or I found out there was a child predator down the street.....we most certainly would keep our children away...They keep to their own...
Latter Day Saints are awesome people ... always there to help in times of need and family always comes first... There are so many complicated things to try to explain, like the rest ... a little at a time.'
I was just a rebel I suppose.. Or a lost and troubled soul searching for Love and Happiness and that feeling in my heart that I knew I should feel and didn't..
So in 1996 I packed up my Van, and headed to Vegas... and never turned back... Oh... the Vegas stories... for a little girl that was pretty much naive in the way of the world Vegas was a very bad place for me... I only lived there for one year.. But that was one Wild and Crazy Year let me tell you...No I didn't stay up all night doing drugs and gambling... but i hung around plenty who did.. No.. I spent my time working at Smiths as a freight clerk most nights... and others as a Miller Girl in different casinos... yes.. I know.. I really don't like to admit that to anyone.. but .. we are laying it all out here.. right? I didn't do any drugs... Thank God for I have the kind of personality that if I had tried them and liked them, I probably would have a whole new story to tell.. one that didn't have a Happy Ending... But with the little bit of common sense I have...(not much ! My sister got all of it...!) I have always stayed away from drugs and cigarettes.. I actually have a hatred for cigarettes that goes beyond explanation... My Mothers third husband smoked like a chimney.. in the house.. in the car... and I hated... HATED the way everything smelled...SO....although I stayed away from the drug use I did plenty of drinking... After all I worked for Miller and could have all I wanted... and it did take some of the Pain away... I pretty much hated myself that year... So the drinking helped until I realized that I was tired of puking every day.. I could never tolerate alcohol... again lucky me... the kids really suffered through this time... I am so sorry kids... I was a terrible Mommie that year... But I really didn't understand... I was selfish and hurting.
Thank God your had your Dad! You can't believe the guilt I carried with me even after moving to Texas about that time of my life... But I realized that guilt doesn't get you anywhere.. It is the Devil telling you that you aren't good enough...He is always telling you that you aren't good enough... that you don't deserve anything good and that you are worthless.. Don't believe him...
We are all Gods Children and we do deserve all the Blessings and the Good things that God has in store for us.. We just have to believe in him enough to let him show us the way... He is not just going to rain blessings upon us.. We have to earn them...We have to follow his example, and don't believe the Devil.. he is a liar!!!!!!
My kids are amazing ... each and every one... They are all brilliant and so talented... and they each have such a story of their own...No matter what we have stuck together... through thick and thin... and they know they are loved no matter what.. unconditionally... now that does not mean that they can do things without consequences but it does mean that I will never Judge them, not turn my back on them..I will love them through anything. I don't always agree ... But I always love...
Tyler and Jordan are amazing Chefs... Tyler is hard headed and won't listen to anyone but is brilliant and is the kindest young man.... He loves his little Lex my three year old grandbaby so very much.... He raises her now with his fiance Amber... She.. was an answer to my prayer... Wow.. Sometimes I am blown away by what God does for me.
Jordan... my helper.. I will come home from working the store and he will be mowing the lawn, cooking dinner , mopping the floor or just whatever he can do help without being asked.. he is always eager to help and never has to be asked twice... every day I come home to some new flower or vegetable he has planted...
Brookie... my sweet sweet girl..My Super Model... She is my little protege...(LOVE IT!).. ! She always spends tons of special time with her baby Sis Savanna and she could never ever mutter an evil word about anyone... She really is filled with a spirit of giving... always wanting to help others...So full of compassion... and Love.
Carli... My little cheerleader and sassy girl..My Beauty Queen and Personality to the moon...! Oh wow.. she has done the complete turnaround this past year... We have been through some tough times with her but she always makes the right decision on her own and after resenting me, comes back to tell me That I was right... very hard for a beautiful and sassy 17 year old girl to do.. She just made Varsity Cheerleader for her Senior Year and I am so proud of her.. She is Savannas Best Friend... When Carli is not here Savanna is in counting down days mode... no matter how long...!There is no separating those two... that is for sure.. they are two peas in a pod...(I am so blessed.. !)
Sydnee.. Talk about sassy...My little creative genius.. she could publish her stories and poetry now.. She is extremely intelligent and gorgeous... (as all of them are...!) She is learning right now what it is like to be a freshman in High School and how hard it is to make right choices. I am proud of her for the choices she has made.No matter how hard...! Drivers Ed this summer... maybe? Can you say scary? Watch out neighborhood....!
Zach,,Me miracle boy. who was supposed to be a vegetable and now just got to be rid of his braces... I know god has placed Doctors in our lives to help and guide us.... but there is never any thing wrong with second or third opinions... because of these second and third opinions our son who was supposed to be a vegetable now doesn't need his glasses , nor his braces... he still has to walk with a walker and is still a little delayed emotionally and developmentally, but is a miracle none the less...he was born at 31 wks...
Savanna... our other little 31 weeker... our princess and the sweetest and most spoiled girl EVER! Everyone dotes on her... Brooke Sydnee and Carli think she hung the moon and she thinks the same of them.. Every Night she screams Brookes name over and over until they have their little snuggle time in bed...(unless Carli is here of course...noone comes between her and her Carli!) She is a sweet sweet girl though... I just fear for her husband someday when he can't live up to her demands! It is hard being beautiful and having the whole family dote on you! But even with all the spoiling she still stays sweet.. it is her nature.. She gets in trouble at school for singing too much.. all the time in fact...
Ok.. I have written enough tonight... i will fill in all the gaps... the cracks and the missing pieces... Just wanted to give you a glimpse of all of them... Like I have said before... each and everyone has their own story.
Defining Moment.. The day your daughter writes you a letter telling you how much she loves you .. How much she appreciates all you have done for her and her desire to learn and to be closer to Our Savior and Lord Jesus Christ.. Thank you Carli... The most precious letter I have ever gotten.. I still have it... Will treasure it forever...
Remember...Life is never easy... It is full of mountains ... of rivers and oceans...some we can just drive through or take a bridge over... But others... we must climb no matter how tall the mountian.. or swim no matter how deep the water.. for how else could we possibly appreciate what is waiting for us on the other side?
Strive to follow Jesus... Work hard towards your dreams.... Pray.... Pray... and Pray some more...
Good night... see you tomorrow!

r

I suppose I should introduce myself if you don't know me.My name is Kimberly. Spelled Kimberley to the shock of me as I filled out my form in order to get my Texas Drivers license one afternoon. I had lived my whole life, had two other Drivers Licenses in other states and never even noticed the spelling of my name on my Birth Certificate..!. You spelled my name wrong I exclaimed to the poor Clerk working that afternoon... No I didn't she said as she pushed my Birth certificate back towards me. I looked down at it I couldn't believe what I saw! What? I had lived my whole life spelling my name wrong? Not one other person noticing all this time? Not even my own mother to notice the misspelling? Well add that to my list of defining moments! Actually I have gone by Kim most of my life... until one day as I was starting a new Sales Job in Midland TX when someone asked me if I went by Kim or Kimberly.... I quickly announced Kimberly....hey I was done being Kim anyway... and Kimberly sounded so much more sophisticated and grown up... !Only old friends and family know me as Kim now... it sounds weird when I hear someone call me that now...like that name doesn't fit me anymore,...
My friend Jennifer still reserves the right to call me that... She is my friend to the end as they say.. I love you Jen! Boy she has seen me through some tough times... After watching me Birth Sydnee she quickly exclaimed she was never having children... But she has her part in my story too.. I promise you will hear it all... There is just so much to tell... I don't know where to start...
My Grandma and Grandpa were married when they were 17... my Grandpa asking my Grandma to marry him quickly when he joined the service... knowing that he better hurry should he want to secure the prettiest girl in the State... Oh she is a beauty... With her head full of fiery red hear and her attitude to match.. I worry about her.. She is missing my Grandpa so much...
My Grandfather was the most giving and brilliant man I have ever known... When he graduated from college he quickly ventured out into the world purchasing some Prime real estate in the middle of Salt Lake City Utah and there he had what we always called "The Station" his oil stained hands and smell of gasoline being one of the things I loved about him so much...He worked so very hard all of his life... I cannot even begin to understand the ledgers he kept on his stocks.. How he would hand graph everything waiting for a specific spike before he would buy or sell.. It was and still is truly amazing...
My grandmother... Wow.. Every Sunday she would drag me to church and pop me down in the front pew while she played the organ.... She is extremely talented and poetic... There is nothing she can't play on the piano or organ..(her living room always full of instruments!)....Saturdays though... those were our Shopping Days... I suppose I got my love of shopping from her... We would spend hours and hours trying clothes on ... until we found the Perfect fit... She taught me about fashion, and style.. and how important it is to always look your best... Even to this day she takes great pride in her appearance. She is a sweet spirit. Loving, kind, forgiving... all those things that a Grandma should be and then some. Their home was my refuge... I had my own room there and it was the one place I always felt safe... We would sit every Friday night and watch Dallas eating our green apples and popcorn ... washing it all down with a great big mug of Root Beer... Now these t hings... these things I remember....
Pruning Roses in the Spring
Early morning walks
The smell of Roast every Sunday
Bongo... the cat
Isn't it funny how we look back on things in our life and remember what may seem like the most inconsequential things that have the most memories for us now.
I often tell my husband as we drag the children on yet another day trip...(The reason I work for American!) of the memories we are creating... Boy we have had our share of mishaps on our little trips... But in the end they end up being so miserable they are funny, or the greatest time of our lives.! Either way we are together and we have Memories... Carli(my 17 year old) is always proclaiming her hate of our trips.. Too must hassle.. I hate sitting at the airport.. It is too hard with the little ones, etc etc... But then it is always the question of where we are going next.... So although they all complain I know in the end they love it as much as I do... no matter how tiring it is...
I hate and love my job at the same time... I am going to try to be Christian in my statements through out my blog but some people..!!!.. Just be nice whenever you call the airline.. Little piece of advice...! We can either help you or keep you stuck for five days...(!HAHA!) And don't don't don't check your prescribed medication ! There,.. I have given you two good pieces of info.. I will also share my recipe for the all time best Chocolate chip cookies....!
Can I tell you to embrace whatever circumstance you happen to find yourself in right now? Knowing that whatever it is there will be something good that comes out of it in the end? I can tell you this from experience... There was a time in my life when I felt as if I had noone... as if I was alone ... just me and the kids on a deserted island where noone cared... But you see... that was really my choice... I hadn't reached out to God... I was looking elsewhere for happiness... trying other things to fill my life with the things I thought I deserved... I know.. I know... you have heard it all before.. But I tell you I am a living testament of what God can do if you just let him... How all your dreams can come true.... It is never too late... Unless of course you are given opportunity time and time again... If you are invited to church with someone and feel the Holy Spirit talking to you but choose to ignore it... If you turn your back on Jesus and you die.. it is TOO late!
I am not perfect... I am not a bible scholar... I am human and still have alot of things I need to do differently in my life.. But I am work in progress.... I am putting God first and watching what he, in turn does for me... My children are witness to this and even Bonner.. who has only been with us a short while has thrown his heart to our Lord and Savior... I am so proud of all of them... Of Jordan who use to grumble and groan about going to church and now I see him rapt with attention as our pastor speaks...Our Pastor truly is amazing...(Ed Young Jr... Fellowship Church)...My children all are making good choices in their lives... Oh they are not perfect either... and teens will always fall into that trap but they make it through the other side knowing that God is the only true way. Thank you Jesus for putting that conviction in their hearts... Thank you Ed Young for speaking to us all in a way we can understand.
As I am writing this my Cat Penelope is hitting me with her paw about every third stroke of the keyboard... i suppose I am not paying enough attention to her... Cats are funny... Alot of the time they want to be left alone but when they are ready for some lovin... they won't let you alone...
Well friend.. thank you for stopping by... I have so enjoyed your company... But Mommie is tired and tomorrow is a very busy day... I flew to San Antonio and back today after church... resisting my favorite pizza place there!!! And of course...what gate do I land back home at but Dunkin Donuts gate!!!!!!
Oh the temptation was great I tell you!!!!!!!! I am on a diet you see... 5 more pounds to go!! I have to be strong... I have found that if you picture yourself in a swimming suit when you are tempted you are likely not to eat it...! Oh and just for future reference? If you are on a low carb diet and you Really want some chocolate...? The 90% cocoa bars are pretty darn disgusting... Might as well go in the pantry and eat a spoonful of Hershey's Baking cocoa... actually that would probably taste better....(right Liz?)
Night Night..

Good Afternoon my friends.. I have some exciting news to share with you all..My sweet 10 year old son Zachary no longer has to wear his orthotics...(braces) for a while... Not sure how long , but for now they are off! I don't have much time to visit today...it is another special day at the crazy Damato household..! Shopping to do to get ready for the big Party this evening celebrating Bonners graduating top of his class from the fire Academy! Bonner is My daughter Brookes future husband... They have lived here with us for about a year now ... It has been so much fun having them here... I am sort of a crazy person that loves a full house... something satisfying about sitting down to dinner every night with a houseful...Lots of love...
But, as everything else... Bonner and Brookies story will come later... There are a lot of little rivers in my life.. people and circumstances that just kind of flow together... sometimes you think they are flowing without any direction... but then you quickly realize that these rivers although sometimes rough and filled with rocks... most flow smoothly towards the destination that they were meant to be.
Back to Zachary... as I said I don't have much time today... But I had to share the news... It will be so nice for him to be able to wear a pair of sandals this summer... His poor little feet are always blistered and sore from his braces rubbing on them... It breaks my heart when he is crying that his feet hurt and there is really nothing I could do because I know he needed them....
He has worn braces since he was about a year old ... Zachary was diagnosed with cerebral palsy at five days old.. The doctors rushed in saying we needed to life flight him to Childrens Medical center that day to receive a shunt or he would not survive the night...Well we didn't believe the Doctors... called a couple of specialists in Dallas.. faxed them his MRI's and needless to say.. although he did receive his shunt... it was a year later.. minimizing any complications.. To this day there has not been one complication with his shunt... It is nothing short of one of many miracles in Zachary's life... I will fill you in on all the rest at a later time... He has been a blessing and has served a purpose in this world.
Oh... he is a challenging child...don't get me wrong.. but it is not due to his physical limitations.. it is due to his hardheadedness... why are all my children so hard-headed? Surely it does not come from their mother!
Well.. I must go for now.. thank you for spending some time with me today....Look forward to seeing you again soon...

I have so many things I want to tell you....I fear my blog will be more of a novel... A story told a piece at at time.. Like life ... a tapestry of people ,places and things.. that in the end all seem to make sense and leave a beautiful masterpiece...
As I ran to the mailbox this morning.. ( I am awaiting a package!) I found a card from a dear friend of mine.. I need to tell her story... our story... My defining moment today... A very very special one.
Angie.. I don't know if she reads my blog or not.. I hope she is not mad at me for telling her story.. but it must be told.. as it has had such an impact on my life and on my children...
Angie... The girl in school that all the boys liked.. beautiful, skinny and always flashing that gorgeous smile of hers.. The girl you always wanted to be like.. You know that girl.......Angie and I were friends in high school... we weren't best friends, but we were friends...I was always jealous of her actually.. Back then jealousy was just an every day emotion for a teenage girl! We would hang out a big group of us and do what teenage girls do..
But let me skip ahead... I had not spoken to her until we reconnected on Facebook...( I love Facebook!)(:We talked about what had happened in our lives up until now.. about our children... She would always post encouraging comments on my posts and about the store... ALWAYS! She brought a smile to my face each and every time...
While we were in New Jersey in March for a quick trip, (it was also Sydnees 15th Birthday) ,we were on our drive home to Marks parents from a big Family Party...(those Italians can do it right!) I was just reading through my posts on Facebook from my phone killing time when I read something from a mutual friend that immediately made me go to Angies page to see what was going on.
I could not believe what I was reading...Angies beautiful daughter MaQuelle had passed away in a car accident the night before. The other two passengers surviving. My heart broke for her. It still aches for her daily.As I read her story in the newspaper of how she drove to Idaho not knowing that her daughter.. her only daughter.. had left this earth... driving there thinking she was just to pick her up at the hospital and then finding out she was gone.
There is no way to know or to try to understand the kind of pain and anguish she must have felt at that time. But she drove to the funeral home.. Took her sweet MaQuelle in her arms and rocked her and talked to her one more time... Rocked her baby girl into our Lords Arms... For you see.. that is the kind of person my friend Angie is...
I told you we weren't that close in high school.. but I feel such a connection to her now.. something that I cannot explain.. I want to reach through the many miles stretching between us and hug her... Tell her that although I don't understand her pain I want to help her with it...
I have never experienced this kind of connection before with someone.. I do have strong connections but not with someone who I would previously had said one of my friends in high school....
Sometimes late at night I actually can feel her pain.. as I am talking to the Lord.. It is in those moments that I reach out to her.. telling her that I am here for her..and she in response tells me that it is in these moments she has been feeling such pain and desperation... I thought at first she must think I am crazy but it is something that has been placed on my heart from God to do .... Like I said.. .this has never happened to me before... .. There are some nights or in the middle of the day that I get a message a tugging in my heart actually that she is having a hard time...
Angie... if you read this.. I am so glad you didn't think I was crazy... that you allowed me to help you.. and that you actually took the time to send me a card...This connection that we now share is ordained by God I am sure of it... and i know that from now until forever we will share a special bond that only two people that have been ordained by God can...I know how it hurts to go into her bedroom and see it as she left it... to go to all of Drews games when she was always at your side... To pick up the phone often wanting to hear her voice..
Angie has not let this break her... she still reaches out to others... trying to stay strong for everyone in her life.Through her pain she still is the comforter to all who know her. Still positive, still loving.... still flashing her beautiful smile...I honestly don't know how she does it.. Please keep her in your prayers, and Drew her only son... It is just the two of them now.. and they need to stay strong for one another..
It has been such an inspiration to me to watch her walk through this tragedy and not be angry...to see her still being the sweet and totally giving person she always was... Even though the pain she is enduring must be unimaginable.
Her card today... thanking me for my words of encouragement...Her thanking me!? She is the one that I must thank... Thank you for showing me that compassion exists in me more than I knew possible.. Thank you for letting me into your heart and back into your life... Thank you for showing that love surpasses all earthly things.. ..Inspiring me to stay positive in my life, for if you can do it ... the rest of us really have no excuse..
Thank you for allowing God to work through me and for reaching out to you.. I know he is carrying you.. I know you are not ready to be put down... not yet... baby steps... one day at a time..
I cannot wait to see you soon and take you into my arms and give you the biggest hug EVER!!!

I am going to take some time to write... You are all going to be sorry you asked me to do this... But as I write I feel a need to write more... Will you allow me to take a few moments of your time...? If not.. I will continue to write...I have found a kind of Peace in doing it... I must warn you that you may be shocked with some of my stories.. But I hope you laugh.. maybe cry... Not sad tears but tears of Joy for the Wonders that God can do.
The first memory of my childhood is when I was about two years old with my Father at the bottom of the stairs.. he had come home drunk once again. Whether he fell or was pushed by my mother...(probably deserved) I did not know or understand.. Actually... that is the ONLY memory I have as a young child involving my Father... You see.. he was a brilliant man ... He was a rep for a drug company and was the top salesman... I am told... But something went wrong.. Terribly wrong...Maybe it is in the genes.. My biological Grandmother died in her early 40s curled up in the Fetal position in some Mental Facility in Salt Lake City Utah... I have no memory of her.. ... Back to my Father... I guess a couple of drinks after work with clients, or maybe a sampling of the Drugs he peddled to Doctors was the first step to a long long life of desperation ... He was a good looking man back then.. I have seen pictures and heard of his wit and intelligence... I never knew that man. When he passed my Mother called me and said "your Daddy is dead... I am so sorry..." there were tears in her voice... I felt numb... I felt as if I should be sad... he was in every sense of the legal term my Father.. But he was never my "Daddy"... I suppose she was sad.. she had loved him once and had put her future in his hands only to have it washed away with a bottle of Whiskey... I did mourn him... But not in the way that a Daughter mourns the loss of her Father.. for me he was a distant story.. Someone I felt no connection to whatsoever.. and because I always had my Grandpa... (The most wonderful human being ever born....)(ask anyone.. they will tell you!)I never really felt the absence...I mourned him because he was so talented... So smart and funny and witty... (at least that is what they all said..) and the choices he made continuously , over and over again.. never learning from them.. led to a very sad life.. A despondent life....A life filled with the consequences one gets when they don't learn their lessons... I wonder often where he is now... If God takes pity on such lost souls.. If he understands that some people just don't get it.. Needless to say at age 64 he died in a trailer Park in Salt Lake City.. alone.. ... noone to even know he was there for days...
To die all alone... with nothing... to have noone even notice you are gone... and the only things that could be said of him was that he was successful when he was young and had a great wit...Wow... There is nothing worse than that .. to me... What will people say of you at your funeral? That when you were young you had a great wit? My goodness... Please.. if reading my blog does anything at all for those who read it make sure you are not that person... Live your dream.... God loves you even when you screw up time and time again... But LEARN through your mistakes... and teach your children ... or try to.. what life is all about... To me.. it is doing what you say you are going to do... making a difference in peoples lives... and first and foremost always ask Jesus for his direction... This is advice that I needed so badly as a child... My mother remarrying when I was young to a man.. again not many memories.. I do know he adopted me at some point.. My brain conveniently forgets things in childhood... I am sure if I knew it all I would be the one curled up in the fetal position...
I do have to say that this man was a Wonderful man from what I remember... He and My mother had My sister and brother...But when they divorced, I never saw him again....
My brother passed away a few years ago in his early twenties... Talk about defining moments.. I was at work one afternoon in a sales meeting when I got the call.. It felt as if the floor came out from underneath me. My little brother was a genius.. I mean a true genius... He was so smart that half the time he spoke you couldn't understand him because he used words you had to go look up in the dictionary afterwards ...He could listen to a song.. then go play it on the piano... He schooled at Amherst in Boston then went over seas to Greece to school and had the world at his fingertips... I am not quite sure what happened that made him sick.. Maybe because he was a genius.. maybe he too made some bad choices. The tragedy behind his story is that he had just enrolled and been accepted into Law School after many years of fighting all kinds of demons.... Oh Ronnie.. I think of your laugh ..I often think of your never ending need to annoy me when we were young... How you and Anna would try to kill each other and could never be left alone... ! Your gift at playing the Piano... Your heart of gold that you didn't know how to share...
Sometimes life just gets to hard... For all of us.. there is noone walking on earth that has not had their fair share of pain... of tragedy... It is what we do with it that makes the difference.
I need to tell you to talk to God..., Just try it if you haven't... I promise he is listening...

It is a new day... Another moment of waking up quickly running through my to do list before jumping out of bed. I know.. I should start keeping a list.. other than in my head...Lord knows and my husband and kids will testify I run around like a chicken with her head cut off most the time... That is my great fear as I get older... the inability to do everything that I do... or to remember everything that I have to do more importantly.I suppose I could hire someone to do it for me... but that would be very difficult if I couldn't remember what it was that had to be done in the first place....
Today's defining moment... Savannas (my baby who will be six on the 10th of June) last day of Pre-K...Do I even need to tell you that the thought of my baby heading out into the big scary world of Kindergarten scares me to death? What will I do with myself...? Who will take care of all her needs...? For she ... our little Princess has many needs don't you know.. There are certain things that she cannot live without..a couple of card games a day definitely a priority... Along with Macaroni and Cheese..(only Kraft..!)Oreos, and of course her Diet Coke... The latter my fault.. I think the love for it was fed to her through my veins. Of course I know it is bad for me.... and for her... even more so... But..well.,.. I am not a Perfect Parent... Who will fix her hair as her braids come undone? I am certain she won't be the Center of attention at Kindergarten... Do I want her to feel that disappointment as she realizes that she is just another child?
None of my Children are just another Child... They each have a story of their own..,. and we will get to that as well.. we have lots of time... a little at a time....
Another special soul wandered into the store this afternoon.. I am so humbled at the compliments from complete strangers... What a Validation it is to have people actually spend their hard earned money in your store...Thank you once again Jesus for allowing me to have my dream...
Back to the Wonderful...(one of many!) woman who graced my store with her stories this afternoon... She was a Gorgeous Grandmother with her own story to tell... All my life I have loved to listen to peoples stories... We all have them...My husband always accuses me of getting "caught up ' in other lives... I don't see it that way at all...I love to listen and learn through all of these Angels that pass through my life...
Is it not true that every one was placed there by God himself?
This lady was talking up a storm about a certain person in her family that had done her wrong... Long story short she ended up buying this person a gift... I wanted to cry when she brought it to the counter explaining who it was for after the story I had heard.... Why is it that it takes strangers to bring out my faults?
Tata for now.. store is getting busy...(Thank you Jesus!!)
I will meet you here tonight!!