I have so many things I want to tell you....I fear my blog will be more of a novel... A story told a piece at at time.. Like life ... a tapestry of people ,places and things.. that in the end all seem to make sense and leave a beautiful masterpiece...
As I ran to the mailbox this morning.. ( I am awaiting a package!) I found a card from a dear friend of mine.. I need to tell her story... our story... My defining moment today... A very very special one.
Angie.. I don't know if she reads my blog or not.. I hope she is not mad at me for telling her story.. but it must be told.. as it has had such an impact on my life and on my children...
Angie... The girl in school that all the boys liked.. beautiful, skinny and always flashing that gorgeous smile of hers.. The girl you always wanted to be like.. You know that girl.......Angie and I were friends in high school... we weren't best friends, but we were friends...I was always jealous of her actually.. Back then jealousy was just an every day emotion for a teenage girl! We would hang out a big group of us and do what teenage girls do..
But let me skip ahead... I had not spoken to her until we reconnected on Facebook...( I love Facebook!)(:We talked about what had happened in our lives up until now.. about our children... She would always post encouraging comments on my posts and about the store... ALWAYS! She brought a smile to my face each and every time...
While we were in New Jersey in March for a quick trip, (it was also Sydnees 15th Birthday) ,we were on our drive home to Marks parents from a big Family Party...(those Italians can do it right!) I was just reading through my posts on Facebook from my phone killing time when I read something from a mutual friend that immediately made me go to Angies page to see what was going on.
I could not believe what I was reading...Angies beautiful daughter MaQuelle had passed away in a car accident the night before. The other two passengers surviving. My heart broke for her. It still aches for her daily.As I read her story in the newspaper of how she drove to Idaho not knowing that her daughter.. her only daughter.. had left this earth... driving there thinking she was just to pick her up at the hospital and then finding out she was gone.
There is no way to know or to try to understand the kind of pain and anguish she must have felt at that time. But she drove to the funeral home.. Took her sweet MaQuelle in her arms and rocked her and talked to her one more time... Rocked her baby girl into our Lords Arms... For you see.. that is the kind of person my friend Angie is...
I told you we weren't that close in high school.. but I feel such a connection to her now.. something that I cannot explain.. I want to reach through the many miles stretching between us and hug her... Tell her that although I don't understand her pain I want to help her with it...
I have never experienced this kind of connection before with someone.. I do have strong connections but not with someone who I would previously had said one of my friends in high school....
Sometimes late at night I actually can feel her pain.. as I am talking to the Lord.. It is in those moments that I reach out to her.. telling her that I am here for her..and she in response tells me that it is in these moments she has been feeling such pain and desperation... I thought at first she must think I am crazy but it is something that has been placed on my heart from God to do .... Like I said.. .this has never happened to me before... .. There are some nights or in the middle of the day that I get a message a tugging in my heart actually that she is having a hard time...
Angie... if you read this.. I am so glad you didn't think I was crazy... that you allowed me to help you.. and that you actually took the time to send me a card...This connection that we now share is ordained by God I am sure of it... and i know that from now until forever we will share a special bond that only two people that have been ordained by God can...I know how it hurts to go into her bedroom and see it as she left it... to go to all of Drews games when she was always at your side... To pick up the phone often wanting to hear her voice..
Angie has not let this break her... she still reaches out to others... trying to stay strong for everyone in her life.Through her pain she still is the comforter to all who know her. Still positive, still loving.... still flashing her beautiful smile...I honestly don't know how she does it.. Please keep her in your prayers, and Drew her only son... It is just the two of them now.. and they need to stay strong for one another..
It has been such an inspiration to me to watch her walk through this tragedy and not be angry...to see her still being the sweet and totally giving person she always was... Even though the pain she is enduring must be unimaginable.
Her card today... thanking me for my words of encouragement...Her thanking me!? She is the one that I must thank... Thank you for showing me that compassion exists in me more than I knew possible.. Thank you for letting me into your heart and back into your life... Thank you for showing that love surpasses all earthly things.. ..Inspiring me to stay positive in my life, for if you can do it ... the rest of us really have no excuse..
Thank you for allowing God to work through me and for reaching out to you.. I know he is carrying you.. I know you are not ready to be put down... not yet... baby steps... one day at a time..
I cannot wait to see you soon and take you into my arms and give you the biggest hug EVER!!!