I love how every time I tell someone I am from Utah (without fail!) they say to me.. so Are you Mormon? I know all my Utah people feel the pain! How everyone looks at you like you are from a third world country until they hear your answer... Then the questions begin..
Well to answer your question... the only people that call them Mormons are people who aren't Mormon! In Utah we call ourselves Latter Day Saints or LDS for short.. So... if someone asks me if I am Mormon I know they aren't one... If they ask me if I am Latter Day Saint... then I know I am speaking with one or someone who is familiar with the religion... Funny how people are so fascinated by it... I never understood it... still don't... I am not a Practicing "Mormon" ... I guess I am still one just because I haven't had my name taken out of the Books ... yes... the keep track of you....They always seem to find you.. no matter where you go one day someone from the Relief Society will come knocking on your door....
My whole family is LDS..I grew up going to church with my Grandmother and even as a young wife continued to go...The church is not filled with monsters and men with twelve wives...It is funny the impression that others have of the people in Salt Lake City... although I have often said that if you aren't LDS... you won't fit in... I am sure alot has changed since I lived there... I left in 1996...But I am sure alot is still the same...Although I grew up in the religion, and my whole family is very religious... I never really felt the connection there... I remember asking a couple of family members if while bearing their testimony they really felt it or were just saying some automated response... Because to me it all sounded the same... Month after month ... Every first Sunday you would fast before church and then bear your testimony... But everyone said the same thing.... I didn't get it... I tried really hard to.. believe me.. !
Oh my whole family is convinced I am going to hell I am sure... thinking that those Christians bite off snakes heads and drink poison and talk in different tongues...
Well I should not say that ... My Grandparents actually visited church with me when they came here to Texas and enjoyed it... My Grandma commented that it wasn't really church... but she went along anyway and despite herself I am sure she learned something... That is the Wonderful thing about them both... They love me no matter what... Even If I do attend a church that sings rock music and the Pastor wears Levis...
I do not discuss religion with any of them when I see them.. It is a topic I will not even try to bring up.. There is already too much friction and they will know the truth in the end... I send my grandma messages on DVD from Ed Young Jr... I don't know if she ever watches them or not, but that is not my job... I just want her to hear the message that I hear.... That is all....
Growing up Mormon in Utah is what every other child does.. There really is no separation between school and state there..... It is all intertwined and if you are an outsider and don't go to Church you will find that your children are ostracized by others... This is not done in a malicious manner... but in the same manner that if you or I found out there was a child predator down the street.....we most certainly would keep our children away...They keep to their own...
Latter Day Saints are awesome people ... always there to help in times of need and family always comes first... There are so many complicated things to try to explain, like the rest ... a little at a time.'
I was just a rebel I suppose.. Or a lost and troubled soul searching for Love and Happiness and that feeling in my heart that I knew I should feel and didn't..
So in 1996 I packed up my Van, and headed to Vegas... and never turned back... Oh... the Vegas stories... for a little girl that was pretty much naive in the way of the world Vegas was a very bad place for me... I only lived there for one year.. But that was one Wild and Crazy Year let me tell you...No I didn't stay up all night doing drugs and gambling... but i hung around plenty who did.. No.. I spent my time working at Smiths as a freight clerk most nights... and others as a Miller Girl in different casinos... yes.. I know.. I really don't like to admit that to anyone.. but .. we are laying it all out here.. right? I didn't do any drugs... Thank God for I have the kind of personality that if I had tried them and liked them, I probably would have a whole new story to tell.. one that didn't have a Happy Ending... But with the little bit of common sense I have...(not much ! My sister got all of it...!) I have always stayed away from drugs and cigarettes.. I actually have a hatred for cigarettes that goes beyond explanation... My Mothers third husband smoked like a chimney.. in the house.. in the car... and I hated... HATED the way everything smelled...SO....although I stayed away from the drug use I did plenty of drinking... After all I worked for Miller and could have all I wanted... and it did take some of the Pain away... I pretty much hated myself that year... So the drinking helped until I realized that I was tired of puking every day.. I could never tolerate alcohol... again lucky me... the kids really suffered through this time... I am so sorry kids... I was a terrible Mommie that year... But I really didn't understand... I was selfish and hurting.
Thank God your had your Dad! You can't believe the guilt I carried with me even after moving to Texas about that time of my life... But I realized that guilt doesn't get you anywhere.. It is the Devil telling you that you aren't good enough...He is always telling you that you aren't good enough... that you don't deserve anything good and that you are worthless.. Don't believe him...
We are all Gods Children and we do deserve all the Blessings and the Good things that God has in store for us.. We just have to believe in him enough to let him show us the way... He is not just going to rain blessings upon us.. We have to earn them...We have to follow his example, and don't believe the Devil.. he is a liar!!!!!!
My kids are amazing ... each and every one... They are all brilliant and so talented... and they each have such a story of their own...No matter what we have stuck together... through thick and thin... and they know they are loved no matter what.. unconditionally... now that does not mean that they can do things without consequences but it does mean that I will never Judge them, not turn my back on them..I will love them through anything. I don't always agree ... But I always love...
Tyler and Jordan are amazing Chefs... Tyler is hard headed and won't listen to anyone but is brilliant and is the kindest young man.... He loves his little Lex my three year old grandbaby so very much.... He raises her now with his fiance Amber... She.. was an answer to my prayer... Wow.. Sometimes I am blown away by what God does for me.
Jordan... my helper.. I will come home from working the store and he will be mowing the lawn, cooking dinner , mopping the floor or just whatever he can do help without being asked.. he is always eager to help and never has to be asked twice... every day I come home to some new flower or vegetable he has planted...
Brookie... my sweet sweet girl..My Super Model... She is my little protege...(LOVE IT!).. ! She always spends tons of special time with her baby Sis Savanna and she could never ever mutter an evil word about anyone... She really is filled with a spirit of giving... always wanting to help others...So full of compassion... and Love.
Carli... My little cheerleader and sassy girl..My Beauty Queen and Personality to the moon...! Oh wow.. she has done the complete turnaround this past year... We have been through some tough times with her but she always makes the right decision on her own and after resenting me, comes back to tell me That I was right... very hard for a beautiful and sassy 17 year old girl to do.. She just made Varsity Cheerleader for her Senior Year and I am so proud of her.. She is Savannas Best Friend... When Carli is not here Savanna is in counting down days mode... no matter how long...!There is no separating those two... that is for sure.. they are two peas in a pod...(I am so blessed.. !)
Sydnee.. Talk about sassy...My little creative genius.. she could publish her stories and poetry now.. She is extremely intelligent and gorgeous... (as all of them are...!) She is learning right now what it is like to be a freshman in High School and how hard it is to make right choices. I am proud of her for the choices she has made.No matter how hard...! Drivers Ed this summer... maybe? Can you say scary? Watch out neighborhood....!
Zach,,Me miracle boy. who was supposed to be a vegetable and now just got to be rid of his braces... I know god has placed Doctors in our lives to help and guide us.... but there is never any thing wrong with second or third opinions... because of these second and third opinions our son who was supposed to be a vegetable now doesn't need his glasses , nor his braces... he still has to walk with a walker and is still a little delayed emotionally and developmentally, but is a miracle none the less...he was born at 31 wks...
Savanna... our other little 31 weeker... our princess and the sweetest and most spoiled girl EVER! Everyone dotes on her... Brooke Sydnee and Carli think she hung the moon and she thinks the same of them.. Every Night she screams Brookes name over and over until they have their little snuggle time in bed...(unless Carli is here of course...noone comes between her and her Carli!) She is a sweet sweet girl though... I just fear for her husband someday when he can't live up to her demands! It is hard being beautiful and having the whole family dote on you! But even with all the spoiling she still stays sweet.. it is her nature.. She gets in trouble at school for singing too much.. all the time in fact...
Ok.. I have written enough tonight... i will fill in all the gaps... the cracks and the missing pieces... Just wanted to give you a glimpse of all of them... Like I have said before... each and everyone has their own story.
Defining Moment.. The day your daughter writes you a letter telling you how much she loves you .. How much she appreciates all you have done for her and her desire to learn and to be closer to Our Savior and Lord Jesus Christ.. Thank you Carli... The most precious letter I have ever gotten.. I still have it... Will treasure it forever...
Remember...Life is never easy... It is full of mountains ... of rivers and oceans...some we can just drive through or take a bridge over... But others... we must climb no matter how tall the mountian.. or swim no matter how deep the water.. for how else could we possibly appreciate what is waiting for us on the other side?
Strive to follow Jesus... Work hard towards your dreams.... Pray.... Pray... and Pray some more...
Good night... see you tomorrow!