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There you go changing my plans again
There you go shifting my sands again
For reasons I don't understand again
Lately I don't have a clue
Just when I start liking what I see
There you go changing my scenery
I never know where you are taking me
But I'm trying just to follow you
Wow... What a week I have had... WE have had... It has been a rough week.. But you know what.. We survived and will continue to LIVE, and to LOVE in spite of the heartache, in spite of the attacks, in spite of all that life may throw in our way...
It is as we feared... Marks Program with Hills has been cut.,.. which means his job will be eliminated.
The Vice President(of his Company) flew in on Tuesday personally to deliver the news to Mark. They have great respect for Mark...(of course.. he IS the best we all know!) The news is bad but at least Mark knows how much they respected him and loved him for all he did. They were forced to lay he and Dennis off(poor Dennis...) ! But as bad as it is... and it is really bad, they are keeping him on for three months, will pay him three more after that, keep us insured for over a year, paying him his bonus, vesting his pension and they also hired a Professional Recruiter to find him a new job.
I am so proud of my husband. He shows such grace and such strength in times such as these. He is my rock... He is OUR rock.
So... our lives will be changing... But I can not fret .. I have faith that our God has his hand in this and that Mark is meant for bigger and better things.... Honestly he is the most brilliant person I have ever met, other than my Grandfather...(they are the same level of brilliance!!)I KNOW he will be placed in a job , a job that was meant for him to flourish and use his talents.
We do need prayers.. It is very hard to see him broken like this... I know he is trying to be strong for us and he is so worried about letting us all down... He could never let us down... no matter what... not possible... !
It is so sweet as he cradles me in his arms and tells me I don't need to worry ... That he will always take care of us... that he will do whatever he needs to in order to do so... I LOVE HIM!!!!!I cherish him.... Thank you GOD for sending him to me!
Do you know how nice it is to be able to count on someone... ? To know that if he says something he means it... I could go on and on... I am sure I will...
I will keep you all updated...Pray for his peace of heart...
I have been working ...and working...and working... I had to work out of the office today... for the first time in over a year... I got to see my friend Beth... I didn't realize how much I miss her! She is my little Hawaii girl...she travels there a couple (or more) times a year... She brought me much comfort today by just being there and listening to me...Thank you Beth... I am so glad that we are friends... that we have each other... even if we don't see each other much...!
I have found as I grow closer and closer to God that my heart softens towards the loved ones in my life... I feel as if I need to tell them all how much they mean to me... what a difference they have made in my life... I have been so blessed with the relationships that God has sent me...
Liz,oh..I need to tell you about Liz.... The strongest woman I know... I don't even know if I have words to express how she has changed me... I just realized it... TODAY!
Her and Kevin have been struggling with their seven year old son Joe, having Cancer. The heartbreak, the constant trips to the hospital for treatment, the not knowing.... every day... Yet she has time to be there for ME! Liz... I love you... Your example of staying strong in times of need, your faith, your love of God.... all have taught me by example...Instead of worrying and fretting I am having faith... Instead of feeling sorrow.. I am finding Peace... knowing God has a plan. You are so special... I hope you know this.. I know how you have suffered in the past... I am so sorry... so so sorry... You are in my thoughts daily, my prayers constantly... You have shown me that you can heal ... that you can go on living....and LOVING!!!!!
I need to tell you about all of them... Ginger, Jennifer, Jenn,Julie, just to name a few... the ones that really have made a DIFFERENCE in my life...
and of course.. Rochelle... thank you Liz..... and Carla...
I want to share them all with you.. Tell you and them how much I love them... People that take time out of their lives when they are hurting and down, and struggling.... to take time to lift you up...REALLY take time... Who stop what they are doing to help you.
God has a plan for our family... I know that... I know I should never grow content... for if I shall I shall need to be shaken by his mighty hand lest I forget who is really in charge...
Well Guys... I am really tired... and it is my BABY GIRLS SIXTH BIRTHDAY TOMORROW:
Her lists of demands are that of a true Princess and of course we must fill every one..
Hide her presents... at least ten... in the kitchen and living room only
Take her to Bearcat Park... then Sonic to Ice Cream...
Childrens Museum on Friday.. then the Omni and Olive Garden,
and MARBLE CAKE with a green candle on top...
Oh... that child is something else... Through all of this she is bringing joy to our hearts...
I love my kids... they are awesome...!
They are all doing all they can to help us get through this difficult time..
Thank ALL of you for your prayers...Please add Dennis Nixon to your prayer lists as well...He is a very good friend of ours...(Our SANTA!) He will need strength as well...
They have helped....
God is GOOD...
Goodnight! (:
Lord:
You are all I need.... take all that's in me... I give it to you.. For your Glory...
My flesh may fail me
My heart may fail me
Everything I have may fail me
My only hope is waiting at your feet..
I have been singing this song all day today... Yesterday ...today... very stressful days here in the Damato household...
Life changes in an instant... I am sure there are several of you out there that can agree.. How you can just be living your life... then a minute later everything changes.
I am telling you all this against my husbands wishes... But I feel I need to ... for we need the prayer... (s)!!!!
I wish I could tell you the specifics but quite frankly we don't have any yet...
All we know is that there will be some major changes happening around here starting probably next week... Something is going to happen with Marks job...There is alot of realignment going on in his company, and he will be affected...That is all we know...
If he loses his job...Well that is something I really can't think about right now... I have faith that he will be put into a new position.... That God will provide. He has always taken care of me. Always... I am just so scared right now... I really don't know what to think... or what we will do... I know there are so many who have gone through this in the past year... I have several friends in fact who are still suffering the after effects of our bad economy.Please God... give us the strength to get through whatever it is you have in store for us... If it means Mark has to travel back and forth to Kansas... we will do it... Please put your hands over our family and protect us! It could be a number of things, and as I stated no matter what, things have to change... Mark loves working from home....and I fear that is going to change.
But his having to commute over not having a job...We will take the commuting part!
Please pray for him... his heart and his pride are broken.... Although it is no fault of his...He is the best at what he does....always... so that is why I am keeping faith that they will keep him and just reassign him to new duties...
If you would have asked me a few days ago if I was okay with him traveling back and forth and only being home on weekends I would have emphatically responded "NO!" But... as I stated in the beginning... life throws these curveballs at us when we least expect them... It is our job to keep our faith strong... Just believing that as a family, with God on our side we can get through anything... I feel strong right now.. Ask me in a couple of hours as I am tossing and turning unable to sleep....
I really want Mark to have faith... to have Peace in his heart no matter what happens. It is hard for him, as the provider... especially as he is such a Perfectionist!
It is going to be a tough weekend, Did I say that already?? The NOT knowing is the worst... of course coupled with the fact that jobs at his level aren't really a dime a dozen... ...
See... Here I go... losing my strength and resolve to stay strong... Help me!!
They say that when you start bringing people to God get ready for the attacks.... I don't know if I am strong enough for any attacks right now!
There are so many suffering, Good people... I feel guilty even saying these things... I am just so very worried about my sweet husband... I don't think he has eaten for two days... So.. again... I ask you to lift him up in prayers...(Mark)... to help him find peace and give him strength... If he ends up having to commute back and fort to Kansas that he finds it bearable... That Jesus will reside in his heart to keep him company...
I will let you all know what happens... As you know.. I am back to work full time with American... so it may be a couple of days...
Defining Moment... realizing that what you have, can swiftly be taken away.
I am giving it to God... He is almighty and does not make mistakes.
There is no passion to be found playing small - in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living. Nelson Mandela
It is late... and here I am... once again...! Another interesting day with American... It seems as if Obama decided to take a trip to Chicago thereby shutting down the airport for a number of hours on one of the busiest travel days of the year... Interesting...It is funny to me how people react to things they have no control over... Very Very few are just "okay " with it..Most are angry, frustrated,and all those emotions that go along with losing control of our situation.
I have learned to just sit back and let them vent for the most part... I have learned it does no good to tell them that it is beyond my control... That the snow is not my fault, the mechanical prolems not my doing..I now just sit quietly as they rant and rave...not saying a word until they finally say" Are you there"? At which point I quietly tell them I am here to help them if they indeed need my help..But if they want to continue to complain and yell then I will have to release the call so that I can help others...
This tactic of mine is fairly new.. It is hard not to take it personally when people are yelling , screaming, name calling etc...I use to actually break out in hives on my arms I was so upset by these people..
Now,although some of them can still get under my skin, I have an easier time not taking it personally and putting myself in their shoes...
The other day I was talking of this with one of the Supervisors... How I could not understand how some people no matter how hard you try to explain things they just did not get it.....How you could tell them something five times at least and they still are angry at not understanding...He, The Supervisor then told me I was judgmental...
"Judgmental !?" I said How is it being judgmental when I am explaining this time and time again and they are not UNDERSTANDING ME? He quietly told me that some people really just don't get it...That they don't understand things like we do ...and for me to get frustrated with them was being judgmental...
Wow...what a slap to the face that was to me... But he was so right!
So... that is my goal...add that to my list of daily sins... I am judgmental... I don't want to be!
Lord help me!!!
My friend Beth that works with me tells me I am mean on the phone... She laughs at me, and I at her.. for I like to get my conversations done , and stay at business at hand for the most part and she knows all the kids names and birthdays when she gets off the phone...(sorry Beth if you are reading this... but you know it is true..!) Ilove Beth... she is awesome... Don't get to see her much at all since we both work from home, and we don't have to go into the office often.. But I enjoy sitting next to her when we are there... She has such a calming spirit about her.(she is LDS...funny out of all the people there we gravitated to each other!)
I never thought of myself as judgmental...before...But he ...some stranger for the most part...(I only have talked to him on the phone a handful of times in the almost four years I have been at home) was quick to point it out in a hurry....!
But as I thought about it... it has become clear to me...I am not judgmental in the way that I think a person should look or dress a certain way but I am, I suppose, because I think people should react to things the way that I would...
I need alot of prayer...! Please God...go to work inside me and open me up to understand all that I cannot...!!!!!
I wonder... Do we ever get it right...? Life, I mean... Is there ever a day when you don't look back at a moment you wish you could change... a word you wish you could take back...
an opportunity missed...We really do need to realize that we,as Christs followers are setting the stage... that others look to us, that call ourselves Christians...that we have a GREAT big role to fill...It is scary to me to think that the example that I set will be the wrong one.
So...my goal at work now is to treat people that don't understand me, how a NASA scientist would treat me if I didn't understand how a rocket booster operates...I am sure it would be completely foreign to me...
Sorry all you people I have talked to in my bordering on mean voice when you didn't understand me..I truly am.. It is my issue...not yours...I feel horrible!
I have had several people , in my life,ask me how I have overcome so much , and just seem to be at peace with it all..I have to tell you...it has not been easy...as I have told you before.....But, you see... the sorrow in my life I have overcome is the same sorrow that has brought me into my relationship with my one and only Father.. Jesus Christ... the savior of us all...Isn't that amazing? That the bad things actually led me to the most Wonderful...That, my friend is how it works...!It is awesome! The peace I feel in my soul is truly something I wish I could explain in words... But I am afraid I cannot... it is something you must experience yourself. My special time with God, my alone time with him ...those times when I feel him with me, encouraging me when I am down or sharing my Joy at special moments....He wants us to be joyous... If we only knew what he had in store for all of our lives.....
When I was young, an early teen..I was so unhappy... miserable.. I hated my homelife.. I use to run away every chance I got.. The only place I ever felt safe was with my Grandparents... I would just run as fast and hard as I could..wanting to run from the pain.
I remember those times of helplessness...those times of being so alone...
My friend... I have been through it all.. I know what it is to lose faith in your family. I know what it is to be single Mommie trying to make ends meet... I know how it feels to have your heart aching.. knowing that there has to be something more......
I have been there... If you are reading this and feel as if you have no purpose in life, no direction...like you are not good enough.... Please pray ...right now for Jesus to give you direction...Your life will change...I promise...
God is GOOD!!!!!! Life is oh so GOOD! Life is for living!
I was talking to a 92 year old very special lady this eve as she was planning her yearly vacation dates... She is sharper than I... When she volunteered her age as we were talking about dates of travel I think I choked...She is a very special spirit...I asked her how she did it,how she kept her mind sharp and her attitude bright.
She told me two things...
Be Thankful for every day.Live life with a positive attitude... the negative will kill you.
Truer words could not be said..
If we live every day feeling sorry for ourselves, if we allow the ugliness of the world to seep into our lives, we will feel the effects physically, and mentally....it will bring us down.
Of course we all have our good and bad days... But let us all strive to live to be 92 and still traveling the world with a smile on our faces blessing all around us...!
Can we just take the bad,knowing it is for the better good? I know it is hard, especially in the middle of it.. but there is alight at the end of the tunnel... it is our choice...! we can let it bring us down, but what good does that do...really? There is alot we have no control over... ALOT!!! MOST things! But we can control how we react to those situations... And that is what will change your life...
I am going to change the way i\I react to those people on the phone that dont GET IT! I think of God and how probably thinks the same of us everyday... How many times do I have to tell them? Will they never understand? They just DONT GET IT!! But he , in his infinite wisdom does not judge us.
Everyday is a struggle of some sort.. some have it worse than others... but we all have our struggles...believe me... That is God working in our lives.. Can we make him proud?
Defining Moment...Having your kids pitch in to take care of little ones, cook dinner AND clean up because Mommie is back to work...all without being asked... My heart is full.
Good Evening !! This is my last eve of freedom! Tomorrow is the day I have to start working full time again for American....Oh... it has been nice... The time off... You see they allow us to take Voluntary time off in advance if they predict the phone volume will be down... One of the perks of working for American Airlines...I detest my job and love it at the same time... I love talking to people on the phone, hearing their stories and having the ability, most of the time, to help them out.. But I detest the ugliness that oozes out of others..!. I often wonder what gives people the right to be rude to others ..?..I have to admit, although I was never downright rude, I did not give the people in Customer Service, when calling the respect they deserve... It is a tough job... Especially for us in the Airline business... I answer phone calls for Elite Members, people calling who want to use their miles to travel...(whole other story..) People whose baggage didn't arrive on the same airplane that they did...(Least favorite... every one is angry!)...I also answer overflow for just the regular joe wanting to know if he can bring his guitar on board, how much it costs to bring his pet.. or if he is allowed to check his blowtorch ...Seriously...No...you cannot bring your blowtorch.. Or your lighter fluid, or any other flammable liquid...!
People are funny...I could write a book just about the phone calls I get on any given night.. I will add a few after work tomorrow..... It can be your daily entertainment....
Luckily for me, the kids will be out of school so will be able to help out at the store...I am grateful for my job and the opportunities that it provides my family and I.. We would never be able to fly to California to watch American Idol or take that quick trip to Disney World because Savanna just wants to go...Oh her future husband is in all kinds of trouble... She thinks it is normal to just jump on an airplane and go to Disney...!
Do you remember as a child dreaming of what life would be when you grew up..? Is the life you lead what you dreamed? Most of my young adult life was spent feeling sorry for myself and I wasted so much time... !We all have plenty of things that have happened to us believe me... Zachary gets so upset sometimes when kids stare at him or make a remark... I have to remind him that his disability is on the outside ... and sometimes that kind is the easiest to bear... He really does understand this as he gets older. He tells me stories of how kids in his school are having all kinds of trouble at home, or have recently lost a parent, etc.. He has become really sensitive to things going on around him... Last week a little boy that is six passed away due to a heart condition he was been born with.
.Zachary woke up in the middle of the night and tapped me on the shoulder..."Mommie, he whispered... I can't sleep.. I am too worried I will never see my friend in Heaven.. What if I do something in my life that prevents me from going there?"
He just turned ten....What if we do something in our life that prevents us from going there.. Prevents us from seeing our loved ones.. Prevents us from spending ETERNITY in Gods Presence... In PARADISE!
I assured him that Jesus was the way to Heaven and as long as he believed in Jesus and followed in his footsteps he would meet all his loved ones in Heaven... "What if I am mean to someone?' Then you repent and don't be mean to them again....We stayed up for about an hour running through all kinds of scenarios that in a child's mind I guess would prevent them from going to Heaven.
Children have such insight into things... Their minds aren't cluttered with all the things that we as adults have to plunder through each day...Most things are black and white with them... then as we become older everything becomes a shade of gray.(or grey)..(.that is for you Anna.).... the right and the wrong kind of blending in the middle so it is kind of right, and kind of wrong...We make excuses for everything... Boy our kids pick up on that quick too... How to make excuses for things.. .It is funny how we say our kids are naughty.. While we are born in sin... the naughtiness is something learned...usually from us..!
Oh how I wish I could start over with Parenting.. Now that I am middle aged I think I finally get it.. (well kind of...) but most assuredly better than I did when I was young.. These children need so much guidance.. and discipline.. ! Although I am sort of an enabler.. I am able to hold strong to the values that I want instilled in them... Rules too....Lots of rules...
When we are young we have these grandiose dreams of our future selves... I just remember saying "When I have kids I will never let them .....""They will all have......""I will marry Prince Charming and live in a castle.."
I woke up one day to a harsh sense of reality.. Actually it was God giving me a stern talking too... Telling me in a still small voice that it was time to stop feeling sorry for myself... to take the things of the Past and let them go.. The People that had hurt me, let that go too.. Why was I wasting MY life carrying around THEIR burdens? God has never said to Forget about it.. Just to stop carrying it around with you.
I gave it all to him... all of it.. all of the crazy mixed up feelings I had for certain family members... all of the resentment I had for never having a stable home life... ...etc... etc...(If I tell you everything YOU would be the one in the fetal position!) !! It is true that our circumstances can shape our future if we LET it... It is so easy to feel like we were entitled to that Perfect childhood.. or whatever it was we feel we were missing...But.. at some point it is up to us to get down on our knees and cry out to God to take it all ..... ALL of it! Stop drowning in your pities and start dreaming of your life again... Start thinking what it is you want.. for you... for your children... then start DOING it...When you let go of those bad feelings...(it takes a while...!)and pray pray pray every day for Peace in your heart.. When you ask for direction... and then LISTEN to God... Your life will CHANGE!!!!!
I have my Prince Charming..
All I have ever wanted to do for my Children I can...
I live in my Castle...(it is a castle to me..!)
I have prayed and worked really hard to get to where I am in life right now.. I did not do it alone.. God gave me a path to follow and it was a hard path ... I had to humble myself.. I had to realize that in order to be blessed you have to be a Blessing...(Thanks Ed Young !)You really have to stop being selfish and self serving.. and put the needs of others first.. Truly.And you have to realize that whatever you are Given by God you do DESERVE it.. no matter what others say and especially no matter what the Devil says.. For he never ever EVER stops trying to convince you otherwise...
Go back to your childhood list.. what on that list can you achieve? What if we do something in our lives that prevents us from going to Heaven?( Thank you Zachary... )This life is only to fulfill one purpose really.. to serve God.. to try to be like him and to have a relationship with him that we can continue in our everlasting life after our earthly death.. What if we wasted our whole purpose?(In this process you will find your dreams and goals coming true...... If you take his direction..!)..
Our salvation lies in Christ.. Please Please Please take him into your lives and into your hearts..Start living your dream.
Defining Moment.. After spending half of your life thinking you were NOONE finally realizing you are SOMEONE.
Thank you Jesus..
Hello again.. ..Sorry I missed you yesterday.. It was one of those rare occasions where we decided to throw all caution to the Wind and go see a movie on a school night! We took Savanna to see Shrek .. it was awesome...I love Mike Myers... (Shrek) If you ever want to watch a really funny move rent So I Married An Axe Murderer... one of my favorite movies... It may have been his first... I don't know but I have watched it about nine million and one half times and have every line in it memorized and still laugh every time...But.. you have to be a Mike Myers fan...
I have to share a secret with you.. I am kind of scared right now... When I started writing this blog in my mind it was just going to be about our crazy life.. inside our crazy house with our Welcome to the Zoo sign on the front door...How we get through every day with all the kids and the animals... How we plan our schedules to make sure everyone is where they are supposed to be.... and now with the store keeping that manned at all times, etc etc...
How I fit in time to make candles, and now jewelry for the store...My favorite recipes, the best restaurants in town... (for we do love to eat out...) ...(just got back from Joe Ts!)
But the words just started spilling out of me, and before I knew it I was telling you all my life story... Which is fine... there is alot to tell... But I never ever meant for it to be what is has seemed to turn into...
I have gotten so many messages from people telling me that my stories have inspired them into maybe giving their lives back to God... who have gotten off track...
I am scared...and humbled... I am just a person who has made a ton of mistakes... has taken the wrong path alot of times and just happened to realize one day that Jesus is the only way.
Thank you for taking time out of your precious day to meet with me, here...to listen to me tell you my story.. If it helps you .. then it is God talking to you.. not me...That little voice inside you is the Holy Spirit giving you the conviction that you need to get you back on track.....I will share with you some more of how God through Jesus can fix anything.
Why did Eve have to go and eat that apple...seriously... would not our lives be so much easier if there were no sin...? Oh.. sin HURTS!!! Sure it may feel good in the moment.. but the kickbacks? Oh I can tell you they are not worth it! We can never shed our human nature.. I love it when people tell me , usually people who are far away from God.. that"that is not very Christianlike"...Well I can tell you right now that as long as I am HUMAN and on this earth... I will never be PERFECT! I finally came to the realization many years ago that being happy with yourself through Jesus is being at peace with the world.
If someone wants to judge you... so be it... if someone chooses not to like you ... so be it...Honestly it is usually someone who cant look at themselves in the mirror due to their own sins, that is causing them to judge you...Making everyone you know happy is impossible.....
Be true to yourself... Pray that Jesus can give you the compassion you need to get through each day... stay away from sin... or try to.. a harsh word with a child...maybe a word spoken out the window in a moment of road rage...(who.. me?) a struggle with your husband over who is the boss....(it is very hard for me.. I struggle with this daily)..Mark and I are always struggling over authority... I think I am right.. but think is the key word.. for I am usually NEVER right.. and even if I am.. I need to be in his service ... It is so hard !!!!!That is my daily sin... oh how I pray !!! But then my human flesh takes over and here we go again...It is a good thing that I can admit that I am wrong in the end or there would really be trouble...!He is the smartest man I know.. I am completely right brained... he is completely left brained so we make a good team... Our closet... I should take a picture and post it... His side is perfectly arranged by color and sleevelength...My side..Well....my side stretches out into the middle of the closet onto the stepstool which is covered in clothes so I can't even reach the clothes on the top rack... Who knows what is even up there? ...stretches all the way into my laundry room which is also used as my closet.. No my clothes are NOT sorted by sleeve length.. or color..! Oh he gets mad at me...When are you going to clean the closet... straighten out the kitchen drawers..What...?? You mean its not normal to have five junk drawers? People actually USE those things that you sort out the silverware in inside the drawers?
Oh just ask my friend Ginger if you ever meet her.. She will tell you some stories... we use to work together... I would be out on sales calls and would call her back at the office to find me a quote or something... "where is it?" she would say...(of course her pantry is organized in alphabetical order...!)On my desk I would reply to her horror! Although she loved it when I was not in the office...she would spend all her time trying to clean up my desk to get things filed... I love her so much... even now she tries to teach me and always threatens she is going to do it (the organizing)when she comes to visit.. but she knows better...
anyway... where was I?
All I am saying to you.. is this... We are not perfect... Not one person walking on this earth is.. and you know what? God loves us all the same...We all sin every day. No getting around it.Just try not to make the same mistakes.. Dont judge others like you are judged or you are just like them.As I was talking to God one night..I asked him... what is Heaven like....I love just talking to God.. I talk to him every night.. For as you know.. he is my Father... He told me so...
When I asked him that question there was a rush of euphoria that passed through me.. I can't explain it...it was like your best moment in life times 100 million...It only lasted a moment and was gone.. But I get it.. I GET IT! I want to go there!
I want to be in a place where all my earthly worries are gone.....Where every day is the most Wonderful Day you have ever had...
Dont waste your life.
Dont let others take you down... Sometimes the people you love the most are the ones you have to break free from.....
The thing that helps me the most is just knowing that I am loved by God... even if no one else on this earth loved me... I am loved by him.
Defining Moment...realizing that you can do more than you ever thought you could.
Love to all... Good night!
